The Heart That Heals

There is an emotional difference between a man and a woman. I probably didn’t have to tell you that. More than likely, you already knew it. So why have I dedicated an entire chapter to it? I want to encourage you as the unique creature you are, created by a loving and all-knowing God. He created you the way you are for a purpose.

We as women have the ability within ourselves to perceive and feel emotional pain that men might not perceive, feel, or even begin to understand. Women feel with the right side of their brains, which invokes a sense of empathy; men feel with the left sides of their brains, which tries to find a solution.

Why are we like that? Why are men and women so different from each other? Because God made us that way; He made us as women different from men for a purpose. He also made us as women different from each other. Remember how we discussed the fact that emotions are subjective, which means they affect us all in different ways? God created us different from the male species and from each other for a reason. He created us for His glory and for His purpose, and he created us different.

Men are made to be burden bearers – women are not. We find a few examples in the Bible of women bearing burdens. However, mostly the Bible talks of donkeys, Israelites, Egyptians, Hebrews, men, sons, and servants bearing burdens. Women are not emotionally designed or equipped to bear burdens, we are designed by God as a help meet. That is one reason it is so important for us to give our burdens to the Lord and to seek His help to be able to bear the burdens of others.

In Genesis 2:18, God essentially says, “Adam, you need help!” God knew when He created Adam that Adam would need a helper (a help meet) – it was no surprise to God. God also knew that although He had created all kinds of animals, none of them would be a suitable help meet for Adam. He had not yet created the helper that Adam needed. Verse 18 goes on to say, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” I find it humorous though that first, before God makes a help meet for Adam, He gives Adam the job of naming all of the animals that He had created. Do you think God knew that if He were to wait until after Eve were created to have Adam name all the animals the job might not ever get done – I wonder? So in Genesis 2:20, we find Adam giving names to all the animals. Adam must have also, at that time, been looking for a mate of his own. We would assume that he would have noticed that the animals all had mates. Adam must have realized that the elephant had a companion, that the lion and tiger both had their own mates that the sea gull had a cohort, and the cockatoo had a pal. All the animals that God created had a mate. But the Bible says that there was not a mate found for Adam. I guess that the dog really isn’t “man’s best friend” after all. Verse 20 says, “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field (these are natural born burden bearers); but for Adam there was not found an help meet (not a natural born burden bearer) for him.”

God creates for Adam a mate, a helper, a help meet in Genesis 2:22 & 23. It says there, “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man.” I would love to have been there to see that! Can you just imagine the look on Adam’s face when Eve came walking out from around that bush or from behind that tree? A perfect woman, probably the way we all would like to look with a perfect figure, preface skin, and perfect hair. Oh how I would like to have seen his face! Can you imaging how Adam must have felt after naming all of those animals, seeking but not finding, looking to no avail for a mate, and finally, there was Eve; the creation of an Almighty God purposely to be a helper to the first man after God’s own heart. What a moment! The passage goes on to say, “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Doesn’t that just sound like a beautiful love song? “…bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” Then Adam gives her a name, “…she shall be called Woman…”

God knew all along that He would create a help meet for Adam. It was no surprise to Him that “…for Adam there was not found an help meet…” (Geneses 2:20). It was no surprise to God that Adam needed a help meet; God intended it to be that way. Woman, the man’s help meet, was taken out of man. I’d like to think since God took woman out of man that now man is missing something that woman completes in him. Have you ever thought about that? There is something in me, the help meet, which completes my husband, the burden bearer.

As women, God made us special. We are purposely designed with a different emotional makeup than a man. Why do you think God made a woman for Adam instead of just creating another Adam for Adam? He created a woman for Adam because Adam needed something different than himself. Men and women are different because God made us that way for a purpose.

Several years ago, my father and mother were in an automobile accident. They were attempting to exit a very busy expressway just outside the city of Atlanta. The exit ramp was backed up with cars waiting in the emergency lane to exit the expressway. My father and mother were sitting still in their car, waiting to exit, when their car was rear ended and totaled by a car going highway speed. My father, who amazingly was not badly injured, called me from the emergency room, and this is what he said, “Your mother and I have been in a car accident. If you want to see your mother, you’d better come…” Now, to an emotional creature like me, this is what I heard my father say, “Your mother and I have been in a car accident. If you want to see your mother ALIVE, you’d better come NOW…”

You can imagine the panic that gripped my heart and the lump that formed in my throat. All the way to the hospital I prayed, “Lord, just let me see my mother alive one more time – please, let me tell her how much I love her one more time.”

When I arrived at the hospital I found my father pacing the floor of the emergency room and my mother in x-ray. She was in a great deal of pain and spent months in therapy following the accident, but her injuries were in no way life threatening. To say the least, I was very thankful and quite relived.

Do you see the difference in what my father said, and what I heard? What a non-emotional creature said and what an emotional creature heard? He said, “If you want to see your mother, you’d better come.” That’s simple enough, but me, being the emotional creature that I am, I of course read between the lines and added some words like “alive” and “now” or maybe I should say my emotions added the words “alive” and “now”. Who is in control here, me or my emotions? You may be feeling the same thing right now in your own life. You may be asking yourself, “Who’s in control, me or my emotions?”

There is a huge emotional difference between men and women. However, even though there is this great difference between us, we were both created by God, and He made us both for His glory and for His purpose. Isaiah 43:7 says, “…for I have created him (mankind) for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.”

Isaiah 43:1-7, is a beautiful passage in which the Lord speaks to Jacob, to Israel, and to all of us, reminding us that He created us and that He formed us, that we are not to fear because He has redeemed us and called us by name, and that we are His. The passage goes on to say in verses 2 & 3, “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour…” What a beautiful reminder of His sovereignty!

Are you passing though the deep, treacherous waters today? He is with you. Are you passing through the swift, flowing rivers of life? He promises that they shall not overflow thee. Are you walking through the fiery trials? Thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee, He says. Why? He says, “For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior.” Oh, how wonderful to have a God like that! A Savior! The Holy One!

The passage goes on to say in verse 4 & 5, that we are precious in His site, that He loves us, and that we should not fear for He is with us. Why? Verse 7 says, “…for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.” He has created us, formed us, and made us (both male and female, both non-emotional and emotional) for His honor, for His glory, and His purpose.

Two of my favorite passages in the Bible are about the potter and the clay. One is found in Jeremiah the other in Isaiah 64:8, where it says, “…thou art our father; we are the clay, and Thou our potter; and we ALL are the work of Thy hand.” God created us for His purpose, and we are all the work of His hands. He knows us just as the potter knows his lump of clay. Do you ever think of yourself as the work of God’s hands? What a precious and awesome thought.

Job 34:19, reminds us that God is not a regarder of persons; the rich and the poor are all the same to Him, “…for they all are the work of his hands.”

We are made in his image. In Mark 12:17, certain Pharisees and Herodians came to Jesus and asked Him this question, “Master, we know that thou art true, and carest for no man: for thou regardest not the person of men, but teachest the way of God in truth: Is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar, or not?” (Mark 12:14). Jesus asked them to bring Him a coin. And then in verse 16 He asks, “…Whose is this image and superscription?” They answered, “Caesar's.” Then Jesus said to them, “…Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's…” The image of Caesar was stamped on the coin, whose image is stamped on you? We are made in His image, we belong to Him, and we should render ourselves unto Him. We also read this account in Luke 20, “…Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's.” Have you rendered yourself to God?

So far we’ve seen that we are emotionally different from each other and that we are emotionally different from men (our counterparts). We’ve learned that we are not made to be burden bearers, but instead we are made to be a help meet. We know that God made us the way He did for His honor, glory, and for His purpose. And, we learned that we are made in His image and we should therefore render ourselves unto Him. So, when burdens become a part of our lives, when emotional pain takes over, when we need to break down that wall of emotions, we must recognize that we cannot do it alone.