The Heart That Heals

Introduction

2005-12-01T10:46:00.000-05:00

I've been working on a book for several years now (about five - CORRECTION three - it just feels like five). The title (tentatively) is “The Heart That Heals”. The book stems from a ladies’ conference that I spoke at about three years ago in which the information was well received and subsequent speaking invitations evolved although I did not accept. Public speaking is not really “my thing”. I thought though, that maybe a book would be. My goal is to finish this book this year. So, in efforts to do that, I will publish here one chapter per month. Comments and suggestions are welcomed. By the way, written works are covered by copyright laws. I don't want my next book to be, "The Heart That Steals!" So, don't copy w/o permission.

Chapter 12

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Conclusion

We have looked at growing in Christ, and we know that we must first be a Christian to do so. We have seen how we grow in Christ. We have looked at breaking down the wall of emotions and we have seen the emotional difference between men and women. We found out that we cannot do it alone. We’ve looked at casting and bearing burdens and how much our response matters. We have seen the blessings of burdens and how God is the God of ALL comfort. We’ve seen all of this and now it is time for us to take action!

James 1:22 says, “But be ye doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” I had heard the first part of this verse many, many times, “…be ye doers of the Word, and not hearers only…” However, I had never paid much attention to the last part of the verse, “…and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” It says that hearers only, people who only hear and do nothing about what they’ve heard, are deceiving EVEN their own selves. If all I do is hear, I don’t apply it to my life, I don’t “do” what the Word tells we to do, I’m deceiving me. Could I be a hearer only, and be so deceived, that I don’t even know it?

Also in the book of James, we read in chapter four, verse seventeen, “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” I could be deceiving my own self, and committing sin, all at the same time. It is as if there is a war going on inside of me. There IS a war going on inside me, the Bible calls it the war of the flesh. My mind knows what to do, it has read it, it has heard it, but my will doesn’t want to do it. It’s a war alright; it’s a battle of my emotions, my mind, and my will.

We must be diligent and consistent in all of the things we have discussed. We must be faithful to continue to grow in Christ in spite of emotional pain. We must break down the wall of emotions, remembering that every emotional response needs to be filtered through the Word of God. We must understand the emotional difference and remember that we CANNOT do it in our own strength but only in His strength alone. We must cast our own burdens, and be willing to bear the burdens of others. We must remember that our response to burdens matters, and recognize the blessings of burdens. We must allow the God of all comfort to have His will and His way in our lives.

Have you ever seen someone walking up a down escalator? Just as that person walking up the down escalator must keep moving to reach the top, we too must keep moving to reach the top. If we hesitate, if we look back, lack diligence or consistency, or are not faithful, that down escalator will rapidly carry us down, down, down, even though, all along, we were heading in the right direction. It is not enough just to be headed in the right direction. We must be headed in the right direction diligently, consistently, and faithfully. We must keep on keeping on and never, never, ever, ever quit!

Jeremiah 31:3 says, “Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” In Hebrews 13:5 He says, “…I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Can you imagine a God that loves us with an EVERLASTING love, a love that lasts forever? Can you trust a God that draws us and will never, never leave us or forsake us? What a wonderful and awesome God we serve! “Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD…” Psalm 46:10

Chapter 11

2005-11-04T10:48:00.000-05:00

Additional Helps
Throughout my journey to learn to “Be still and know that I am God” the Lord has also shown me other things that have helped my heart to heal. In this appendix of additional helps I list several of them for you and hope that they will be a help to you as they have been to me and so many others.

1. Be encouraged because burdens give us opportunities that we otherwise might not have.
a. They give us the opportunity to draw closer to God and to each another. Through burdens and emotional pain we learn to depend on God and we develop a common bond with others.
b. They strengthen our prayer life in ways that nothing else can do.
I remember several years ago when a friend of mine, the athletic director at the school where my children attend, dislocated his shoulder. If you have ever experience a dislocated shoulder, you know how disabling and painful it can be. He was unable to work; he couldn’t even teach class for several days. I recall his testimony of how God used that time in his life to draw him closer and how his prayer life was strengthened because of the time he spent alone with God.

c. Burdens give us compassion toward others that we might not otherwise have.
d. Burdens give us the opportunity to edify and to lift up others, and to be a testimony of God’s goodness.
Remember when I told you about looking back at the funeral procession, after my sister’s funeral, as we left the church and headed toward the cemetery? All of those hundreds and hundreds of people were opportunities for us to be a testimony of God’s goodness. There are people around you, watching you, especially during times of trials and tribulation. There is no better time to be a testimony of His goodness.

Start an encouragement file. One of the biggest files I have in my office today is an encouragement file. I started that file years ago, at the suggestion of a wise person, and I’m so glad I did. That file is precious to me. If there were a fire and I had only moments to grab files and escape, that file would be one of the ones I would grab. There are letters, notes, and cards of encouragement from four year olds to ninety year olds in that file. Any time that I am down, I can go to that file and pull something out of it that will be an encouragement to me.

Add to someone else’s encouragement file by writing thank you notes. It is difficult for a thankful person to become a bitter person. When we are thankful, we are less likely to look at what we see as the bad in our lives, and more able to see the good. One of the first things I did to help my heart to heal after my sister’s death, and it was actually several weeks after her death when I began this, but at another wise person’s suggestion, I began to write thank you notes. I started back as far as I could remember, probably when I was four or five years old, and I began to write thank you notes to every one I could think of that had had a part in my life. It is one of the best pieces of advice I can give you and one of the best things I did to heal my heart. I found that when you enter into an attitude of thankfulness for all that has been done for you, you will see how wonderfully you have been blessed, you will see how the Lord has brought certain people and certain circumstances across the pathway of your life to mold you and to make you what you are today.

Beware of the effect of things like color, music, the foods you eat, and even what you wear. I’m not going to go into detail about all of these, but let me just expand on the effect color can have in your life. I am an artist, and have studied in-depth the effect of color and the different feelings it invokes in us. The advertising world and marketing professionals have known this stuff for years and use it extensively to their advantage. I remember when my youngest son was about eight years old and our family dentist suggested that we take him to a pediatric dentist because of some special problems he had with his teeth. The pediatric dentist he sent us to had an office in the same building, directly across the hall from the orthodontist we used. I enjoyed going to the orthodontist’s office because it was painted floor to ceiling like Key West, Florida; the colors were light, bright, and uplifting. The entire office was a virtual work of art. The pediatric dentist office across the hall however, was a different story. It wasn’t until about our third or fourth visit to their office that I realized through my own experience the psychological effect that color can play on a person. I had read about it, but never experience it for myself in such a profound, unexpected way. You see, the dentist office was like the orthodontist office, a work of art from floor to ceiling, and maybe even more so because of the amount of detailed work that was displayed there. But the dentist office was painted floor to ceiling like a jungle. The colors were dark and depressing not light and calming like the orthodontist office. My son and I visited that office at least once every six months for several years, and every time I left I would feel an overwhelming sense of oppression. I finally asked our family dentist to take my son back into his practice – all because of the colors on the wall in the pediatric dentist office and the oppressive feelings it left me with.

It is well documented the effect that colors can have on us. The color black gives the impression of authority and power, it is stylish and timeless. The color white implies innocence, purity, and sterility. Red is an emotionally intense color, it stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. Pink is a tranquilizing color. I’ve even read of sports teams that paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams pink so that their opponents will lose energy. Blue too, is tranquil and peaceful, It is one of the most popular colors. Studies show that people are more productive in blue rooms. It has been reported that the color blue actually causes our bodies to produce calming chemicals. No wonder God made the sky and ocean blue. The orthodontist office was mostly blue. Green is a calming, refreshing color. Television stations often have guest who are waiting to appear sit in “greenrooms” to relax. Yellow is a cheerful color, it is considered to be an optimistic color, and is said to enhance concentration, that’s why legal pads are yellow. Brown implies something that is solid, reliable, and genuine. When I first read this I thought about that package delivery company that drives the brown trucks – they’d like that.

You see, color really can play a roll in the way we feel. Just as colors can affect us, so can the music we listen to, the foods we choose to eat, and the clothes we wear.

I remember when a friend of mine explained to me the routine he followed before taking college exams. One of the last things he always did was to put on his favorite outfit, the one he felt the best in. It would always be something very nice, dressy, and something he felt comfortable wearing. He had read studies of how students tested better when wearing their best clothes.

In a similar way I found this to be true in my own life. When I come home from a long day’s work, I have two choices. I can either keep on the clothes I wore to work – usually they are the dry clean only type, or I can change into something more comfortable – usually sweat pants and a tee shirt. I have found that I accomplish much more and feel more energetic if I keep on my work clothes. Unfortunately though, this runs up the dry cleaning bill. If I change, and put on a worn-out, comfortable, pair of sweat pants and a ragged tee shirt – usually my outfit of choice, my energy level drops dramatically and consequently, I am much less productive.

Allow the Lord to prepare you ahead of time. Be open to His leading and guiding; allow Him to work in your life. I could share with you example after example of how the Lord prepared us as a family before my sister’s death. We didn’t see it then, but looking back we can clearly see His hand and it only confirms in our minds His sovereignty in every detail of our lives, even the small, seemingly, insignificant details. He is always working in our lives to prepare the way before us.

Just an example – When my parents first moved to Florida my sister was in her freshman year of high school. She made friends with a group of girls who she later found out were not headed in the same direction in life that she was. Their values were different, their morals were different, and the longer the friendships lasted, the more evident it became that Ginger need to break off her relationships with them and find a group of new friends. After about a year and a half, she did just that, but by doing so she made some real enemies out of what had once been friends. They could not understand why she could no longer go places and do things with them.

Ginger was a starter on the high school basketball team. During her senior year, she developed a severe case of asthma. After collapsing and nearly dying on the court, her coach, not wanting to take any more chances, left her sitting on the bench for the remainder of the season. Ginger graduated from high school with a real bitterness towards that coach because of her decision not to allow her to play.

A few weeks before her accident, Ginger called those girls with whom she had once been friends, and she called that coach for whom she had once played. She met with each of them, explaining her feelings and asking for forgiveness for any wrong she had done towards them.

Another example – Nine days before Ginger’s accident she bought a life Insurance policy. How many eighteen year olds do you know of that go out, on their own, and purchase life insurance? I don’t know of any except my sister. The policy my sister purchased was for fifty thousand dollars, double indemnity. She only made one fifty dollar payment on it.

Last example – On the night of Ginger’s accident my parents gave to her a Christmas present, thirteen days early. They had no reason to, they just did. That night my father, mother, and sister had a special family time together for my father’s birthday – yes, it was my father’s birthday.

I believe the Lord arranged these things and caused them to happen just the way they did, to prepare us for what He knew was to come. You may think that all of these things were merely coincidences, but I could go on and on with example after example. By the time I finished, you too would be convinced as I am that this was all much, much more than just a matter of coincidence. It was God’s providential hand in our insignificant lives. I know of other people, who have recorded similar works of the Lord in their lives as well.

Memorize scripture. Memorizing scripture has always been a difficult thing for me. You have probably heard the old adage that says, anything worth having is worth working for. Well, this is one thing that is, without a doubt, worth working for. When we are going through trials, tribulation, or emotional pain, what better thing to get us through it than memorized scripture?

I realized several years ago that when I really got serious and made myself memorize scripture, it snowballed. In a funny kind of way, I think it stretched my mind. It seams that the more I memorize, the easier it gets for me to memorize. My memory, I believe, has actually improved. And as I get older, this helps in other areas of my life as well!

I started with very simple passages like, “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. I wrote it on sticky notes and stuck it on the visor of my car, on my bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator – where I go way to often. You will be amazed at how easy it is to memorize a verse if you make yourself say it every time you open the refrigerator door. It is wonderful to be able to pull those memorized verses out of my head when I need them. Another memorization aid – put them to music – sing Psalms of praise!

Remember that God meant it for good. In Genesis 50:19 & 20, Joseph confronted his brothers years after they had sold him into slavery, and this is what he said, “…Fear not: for am I in the place of God?” He is saying to them, can I be the judge of this thing that you have done? Joseph realized that only God knows the big picture; only God knows what is really in our best interest. Can we be the judge of what God allows in our lives? Joseph goes on to say, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” His brothers meant evil towards Joseph when they carried out their evil plan to get rid of him, but God didn’t, God meant it for good. All the while when Joseph’s brothers were making their plans they didn’t know it, but God was planning to use their evil deeds for the good “…to save much people alive…” of many people. He did just that, he used the brother’s plans, and Joseph’s willing heart to save much people, even the brothers. We cannot be the judge, God meant it for good.
Sometimes we think we know exactly how things should work out best, how things should fit together in our lives, the circumstances, and the timing, it all seems to be so clear to us. I remember the story of a little boy who thought he was helping out by put all the keys on a computer keyboard in alphabetical order. Sometimes, we are like that little boy. We want to put all the keys in the order that makes the most sense to us, but that’s not always the order that is best for us.

Remember, Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto THINE own understanding.”

I’m reminded of a story of another little boy who is watching his mother create a beautiful tapestry. You’ve probably all read or heard this story before. The tapestry is stretched over a wood frame and the boy sits beneath it on the floor watching as his mother pushes and pulls the needle and threads back and forth through the fabric. From where the boy sits, he sees only the under side of the tapestry. It is matted with knots and pieces of different color threads and is not very pretty to look at. It is similar to the site of our own lives through our own eyes. But, the mother who sits above the tapestry, looking down at the right side of it, sees a different picture. The picture she sees is one of beauty, as the character of the tapestry is being formed one thread at a time. You see, the little boy and the mother are both looking at the same tapestry but seeing two totally different views because of their unique perspectives. It is just like you and God, both looking at your life. You are both looking at the same life, just from different perspectives. The side you see looks like a matted, knotted-up, mess, with different lengths and colors of threads hanging all about it. But, the side that God is looking at, looks like the character of a beautiful tapestry in the works.

Do you remember in the book of John, when Jesus was washing the feet of the disciples? When He came to Peter, Peter questioned Him, as he did so often. He said, “Lord, are you going to wash MY feet?”, and Jesus answered him and said in John 13:7, “…What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.” What He does in our lives, we know not, we cannot understand now, but we shalt know hereafter.

Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD.” Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect: the Word of the LORD is tried: He is a buckler (a shield of protection and strength) to all those that trust in Him.” We ALL need God’s protection and His strength. The strongest person on earth is infinitely weaker than God and certainly needs His unmatched help.

His thoughts are not my thoughts; His ways are not my ways. However, His way IS perfect. All I’ve got to do is to trust Him, to “Be still and know…” that He is God!

Chapter 10

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The God of All Comfort

In II Corinthians 1:3 & 4, we read, “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of ALL comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” We talked in an earlier chapter of these verses and the way we are to emulate God’s love and compassion for us by passing that love and compassion on to others. He is the Father of mercies; He is the God of ALL comfort. He comforts us not just that we may be comforted, but that we in turn may with His comfort, with His love, and with His endless compassion, comfort others.

We have this assurance, in John 16:33, the Bible says, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” He says, “…in me ye MIGHT have peace.” Peace is available if we just ask for it. He’s ready to give us peace, if we will cast our burdens. But then he goes on to say, “In the world ye SHALL have tribulation…” There is no doubt about it, tribulation WILL happen in your life and mine if we live long enough and some of us don’t have to live very long before it happens. After we read that peace is available and tribulation is inevitable, then, here comes that wonderful assurance. He reminds us that even though we will have tribulation in the world, he says “…I have overcome the world.” He has overcome the world, overcome tribulation, ready to give peace. Isn’t it awesome to have the opportunity and privilege to serve the One who has “…overcome the world.”?

I wondered, after I read verse thirty-three, what was “These things I have spoken unto you…”? This is the last verse in chapter sixteen, so I began reading in verse one of the chapter, to find “These things…” Chapter sixteen of John is one of the last conversations Jesus has with His disciples before His Crucifixion, and it is basically a warning, a preparation in advance of tribulation, and the assurance of better things to come, a better life to come.

The chapter begins with, “These things have I spoken unto you…” and it ends with, “These things have I spoken unto you…”, interesting. The first verse says these things have I spoken unto you, “…that ye should not be offended.” The last verse says these things have I spoken unto you “……that in me ye might have peace…” Between verses one and thirty-three Jesus tells His disciples thirty things that could offend, that could separate them from the peace of God.

“These things” are:

They shall put you out of the synagogues
Whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service
Now I go my way to Him that sent me
Sorrow hath filled your heart
It is expedient for you that I go away
If I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you
When He (the Comforter, the Holy Spirit) is come, He will reprove the world
I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now
The Spirit of Truth…will guide you into all truth…
The Spirit of Truth…will show you things to come
A little while, and ye shall not see Me:
again, a little while, and ye shall see Me
I go to the Father
Ye shall weep and lament
the world shall rejoice
Ye shall be sorrowful
your sorrow shall be turned into joy
Ye now therefore have sorrow
I will see you again
your heart shall rejoice
your joy no man taketh from you
Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in My name, He will give it you
Ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full
I spoken unto you in proverbs: but the time cometh, when I shall no more speak unto you in proverbs
I shall show you plainly of the Father
The Father Himself loveth you, because ye have loved Me, and have believed that I came out from God
I came forth from the Father, and am come into the world: again
I leave the world, and go to the Father
Ye shall be scattered, every man to his own
Ye…shall leave Me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me

He warned of all these things beforehand, that they not be offended, that they might have peace. “In the world”, He says, “ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” Peace is available in Me, He says, and we know, that there is none other that giveth peace. That is why it is called “…the peace of God, which passeth all understanding.” (Philippians 4:7).

Many times we think that turning to God and relying on His mercy and comfort will make our burdens disappear – no, not necessarily. Relief is not always the best thing for us. Relief is not always in His master plan. You have to remember, we cannot see the big picture – but God can. God does give the strength, the grace, and the hope that we need thought, to endure the burdens and hardships, and to withstand the tribulations and emotional pain.

Psalm 147:3 says, “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” He is a Master at healing the broken hearted and binding up wounds. Oh, isn’t it great to have the Master on your side!?!

Another assurance we have is found in Genesis 18:14, where the Lord asked Abraham “Is any thing too hard for the LORD?” I ask you today, Is there ANY THING to hard for Him?

II Corinthians 12:9 says, “…My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness…” His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

We read four times in the books of Matthew and Mark that Christ was moved with compassion.

“But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.” Matthew 9:36

“And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and He healed their sick.” Matthew 14:14

“And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean.” Mark 1:41

“And Jesus, when He came out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and He began to teach them many things.” Mark 6:34

What is compassion? Webster’s Dictionary says it is the “Sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress (or burdens) together with a desire to alleviate it.” Sympathy plus the desire to alleviate the burden equals compassion.

sympathy + desire to alleviate = compassion

You know, that’s what Christ had for the people in the New Testament. He had compassion, because they fainted, because they were scattered abroad, and they had no shepherd. He took action; He healed the sick, put forth His hand, touched them, spoke with them, cleansed them, and taught them. That is a result of compassion.

He is not simply touched by the feeling of compassion, the Bible says that He is MOVED to action by compassion, and His action forever changed the lives of those He was moved with compassion toward. Just like the people of the New Testament, He is moved with compassion towards us too. He is a God of compassion; a God of healing compassion.

Have you ever though of yourself as the “work of His hands” (Job 34:19)? We talked about being the work of His hands when we spoke of the emotional difference there is between each other and between us and our male counterparts. We are the work of His hands and just like He made us special the first time, sometimes He has to make us over – special again. Sometimes our lives become marred (blemished, flawed, stained) or maybe they’re not marred, but He knows that we can be so much more for Him than we are. Just like in Jeremiah, we become the lump of clay on The Potters wheel. When we become that lump of clay, we are a lump of clay in the hands of the God of all comfort – the God of compassion.

In Jeremiah 18:1-6, Jeremiah is told by the Lord to arise and go down to the potter’s house and that there he, Jeremiah, will hear the words of the Lord. In verses three and four, we find Jeremiah doing just as the Lord had said, “Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.” Then in verses five and six, Jeremiah hears the Word of the Lord as He said, “O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? …Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand…” So are we in God’s hands.

God used burdens in the lives of the Israelites to make them “as seemed good to the potter to make” and sometimes, He does the same in our lives today.

We should never question God or anything He allows in our lives. Romans 9:20 says, “…Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?”

Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus… (is) the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.” He was a God of compassion, the God of all comfort two-thousand years ago, and the wonderful this is that He still is that same God today!

James 4:8 says, “Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you…” The God of all comfort is waiting for you to draw nigh unto Him, so that He in turn, can draw nigh unto you. What are you waiting for? Draw nigh today!

Chapter 9

2005-09-07T05:12:00.000-04:00

The Blessings of Burdens

I have often thought that if there is any blessing in having a burden, and there are, one of them must be that when we have experienced the burden, it gives us the sensitivity, and the compassion, to recognize burdens in others. I have certainly found that to be true in my own life. You may have found it to be true in your as well.

The Israelites were made better because of the burdens put on them by the Egyptians. It says in Exodus 1:12, “But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew…” The Egyptians tried to wear down the Israelites by mistreating them and forcing them into slavery but instead of giving up, the Israelites grew in number and they grew stronger. When we are burdened or mistreated we may feel defeated, but our burdens can actually make us stronger and develop qualities in us that prepare us for what God has for us in the future.

But there is yet another blessing that is found in Romans 5:1-5 where it says, “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand (we stand in grace), and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”

Look at all of these wonderful privileges listed here that we have as Christians:
§ Justified by faith
§ Peace with God
§ Access by faith
§ Stand in grace
§ Rejoice in hope

Paul goes on to say, “And not only so”, not only all of this that is listed above, not only do we have all of these privileges as children of God, “BUT we glory in tribulations also…” Not only are we justified by faith, not only do we have peace with God and access by faith, not only do we stand in grace and rejoice in hope, no only all of this, but we also glory in tribulation. Why, why would anyone in their right mind glory in tribulations? Why did Paul glory in tribulation? The passage goes on to say that Paul gloried in tribulation because “…knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope…” You see, the end result of tribulation is hope. Tribulation leads us to patience, which leads us through experience, which leads us to the end result which is hope.
Tribulation = patience, and patience = experience, and experience = hope

But that’s not all, it gets even better than this! Paul goes on to say “…and hope, the end result of tribulation, maketh not ashamed…” Why, why does “hope maketh not ashamed”? Hope maketh not ashamed because of the result of hope. Remember that the result of tribulation is hope, now we see that the result of hope is that “the love of God is shed abroad”. The love of God is shed as a result of hope. The passage even tells us where the love of God is shed abroad. We read that the love of God is shed abroad “in our hearts”. The end result of tribulation is hope, the end result of hope is that the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts; thus tribulation ultimately ends in the love of God being shed abroad in our hearts. That is why Paul gloried in tribulation; that is why we should glory in tribulation.

Tribulations, trials, burdens, emotional pain – they all bring us together, they make us closer, as nothing else can do. They result in the Love of God being shed abroad in our hearts. They give us who have experienced them, a common bond.

We were all witnesses to the common bond developed among the people of New York City on and after September 11, 2001. You may have experience a similar common bond within your own family or circle of friends.

My family developed such a common bond on December 12, 1987. We look at things differently now. A phone call late at night sends a chill through you. The worlds “I love you” and hugs mean more. We enjoy life and each other more because we know that today could be the last day for any of us. Goodbyes are tougher; laughter is sweeter, cards and notes more thoughtful, and birthdays more celebrated.

A common bond is a special thing, whether it is born of tragedy or happy times; we all need this kind of bond with others. It too is one of the blessings of burdens.

Another blessing is the blessing of a God that upholds us. It says in Psalm 145:14, “The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down.” Sometimes our burdens seem to be far more than we could ever bear, and you may wonder, “How can I go on?” All we can do is give those burdens to the Lord. I call Him my “Great Burden-Bearer.” Chapter 145 of Psalms holds many evidences of how and why God is able to uphold the fallen because:

He is great beyond discovery, Psalm 145:3
He dose mighty acts across many generations, Psalm 145:4
He is full of glory, honor, and majesty, Psalm 145:5
He does wondrous works, Psalm 145:5 & 6
He is righteous, Psalm 145:7
He is gracious, compassionate, patient, and merciful, Psalm 145:8
He reaches out to us with tenderness, Psalm 145:9
He rules over an everlasting Kingdom, Psalm 145:13
He is the source of all of our daily needs, Psalm 145: 15 & 16
He is righteous and holy in all His ways, Psalm 145:17
He remains close to all who call on Him, Psalm 145:18
He hears our cries and saves us, Psalm 145:19 & 20

These verses should be an encouragement to all of the fallen; He is just waiting to lift you up.

In Matthew 11:28 & 29 Jesus says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, (all those that are burdened) and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me (Be still and know that I am God); for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Come unto Him and find rest for your soul – What a comforting blessing to have a God like that.

Maybe you are suffering today for the cause of Christ. Maybe your burden is one of tribulation because of your faith in Christ, because you have chosen to be a Christian. In Acts 5:41 Luke says, “And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name.” Have you ever though of persecution as being a blessing? It can be. It certainly would push us to be more Christ-like – are we “worthy”?

In Acts chapter five, Luke recounts the events of Peter and John being persecuted, physically abused for their faith in Jesus Christ. Both of these apostles knew how Jesus had suffered and they counted it a privilege to suffer, to be persecuted, and to be found “…worth to suffer shame for His name.”

In Matthew 5: 11 & 12 we read “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile (insult, abuse, scorn, condemn, despise) you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” The blessing of a burden, the blessing of persecution – great is your reward in heaven. If this is the boat you are in, you’re not in bad company, “for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”

We find in Acts 5:42 that the burden of persecution was a blessing in that it formed the first home Bible study. In Acts 8:1-4, 11:20 & 21, and in I Peter 1:1, we see the blessing of the burden of persecution as being a springboard for the spread of the gospel. Remember in the last chapter when we talked about the love of God being shed abroad in our hearts (Romans 5:5)? In Galatians 5:11 we see the blessing of the burden of persecution being the proving ground that Paul was preaching the truth. A proving ground, what is our “proving ground”? Are we preaching and teaching the truth – is there proof? The burden of persecution could be that proof.

Burdens certainly can be a blessing. Another blessing of having a burden is that it gives us greater opportunities for trusting God. Job lost almost everything he had, his family, his wealth, and even his health. Through all of this, God never revealed to Job the why of his burdens, He never revealed to Job that Satan himself had challenged Job’s motives for serving God. Job’s friends, even his wife turned against him after he had lost everything, but Job just kept on trusting God. Do we trust in the Almighty God through our burdens? What about when everyone else turns against us – do we still trust?

Another blessing – God meant it for good.

A young man in his teens, living in a Middle Eastern country, was kidnapped and sold to slave traders. Carried across the border into a foreign nation, he was there framed and falsely accused of a serious crime. He languished in prison for several years until, through an incredible turn of events, he was catapulted to a position of enormous power and influence within the government of that foreign country – a position he then used to rescue his own kidnappers.

Layton Talbert. Not by Chance. Greenville, SC:
Bob Jones University Press; 2001. p. 1

In Genesis 50:19 & 20, Joseph finally after years of bearing the burden of being kidnapped, sold to slave traders, falsely accused, thrown in prison, and forgotten for years, faces his kidnappers, his own brothers, and this is what he has to say, “… Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” God meant it for good. We cannot always see this blessing right away – that “…God meant it for good….” There may be sometimes that we may never know how “…God meant it for good….” It is a blessing however, to know that everything, even the burdens that come into our lives is a result of a God we can trust. That in His infinite plan – He means it for good.

Chapter 8

2005-08-01T07:26:00.000-04:00

Our Response to Burdens

What should our response to burdens be, to our own burdens, and to the burdens of others? I once read this little saying that has stuck in my mind for a very long time and served as a constant reminder of how much my response matters to God and others and how very important a correct response to circumstances is.

It’s not situations that make us who we are
It’s our RESPONSE to situation that makes us who we are

We all respond to circumstances differently, because we are all made differently. Part of what “makes” us like we are is the situations that we have been through. Remember when we talked of bearing the burdens of others and we said that we must realize that we view the circumstances, trials, test, and tribulations of life through the lens of our own emotions? Well, that “lens” is developed in us as we ourselves go through the different circumstances, trials, tests, and tribulations of life. That is one reason that we all respond differently; because we are all looking through a different lens. My lens is going to be tinted just a little bit different than your lens; it may be a little weaker or it may be stronger.

I read an illustration of a tea bag and found the analogy quite interesting. Have you every thought of how a tea bag responds to the hot water it is steeped in? There is a lesson to be learned from the tea bag.

When we take a tea bag, place it in a teacup, and fill the cup with hot water, the water activates the tea in the bag unleashing its taste into the water around it. The hot water didn’t create the taste; it merely revealed or drew out what was already in the bag. This depicts what happens in the human heart. The pressures around us merely draw out of our heart what is already in it. We cannot blame the hot water for the taste in the cup. The contents of the tea bag determine the flavor of the tea. What flavor is your tea?

J. Allen Peterson. Your Reactions Are Showing. Lincoln, NB:
Back to the Bible; 1967. p. 14-15

You see, our response not only makes us who we are, but it also comes from who we are.

I remember very clearly, and vividly my thoughts after I learned of my sister’s death. I thought, “Lord, I had no idea that you only intended for Ginger to live eighteen years…” My response could have been anger, or bitterness, but instead, my response was my belief in the fact that God was in control and my knowledge of His plan was quite limited.

Now, I didn’t develop that response overnight. It was a response developed in me over a lifetime of small emotional pains, learning to lean on the Lord for every need, and realizing that He is always in total control of every situation. Nothing slips by God; nothing catches Him off guard or takes Him by surprise like it does us. He is always in control, always prepared, and always waiting and able to meet your particular need, whatever it may be. You see, God leads us all along the way of life only one step at a time. He never takes us up a step too big for us to climb, He never gives us more than we can handle. His grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9).

Sometimes, our response to burdens may just need to be contentment. Paul says in Philippians 4:11, “…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” How do you think Paul learned to be content? Notice that the verse doesn’t say he was content, it says that he learned to be content. We must assume then that at some point Paul was not content. He had to learn to be content. He certainly had plenty of opportunities in his life time not to be content and to learn contentment. Paul learned so well to be content that he and his friend Silas sang aloud while imprisoned. Acts 16:25 says, “And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.

If we read the complete passage here, we find that Paul and Silas had been followed for days by a young lady possessed with an evil spirit. The men that controlled her made money by using her and when Paul commanded that the evil spirit should come out of her, and it did, their money making opportunity ceased to be. The men caught Paul and Silas, and brought them into the marketplace and unto the magistrates, accused them of being Jews, causing trouble, and teach things that were not lawful. The Bible says that a multitude rose up together against them, their clothes were torn off of them, and they were beaten. Then they were cast into prison and not JUST the prison but into the inner prison, and their feet were put into stocks.

But there in the inner prison, with his feet in stocks, Paul was content. Just as Paul learned to be content, we too must sometimes learn just to be content. Contentment in this situation afforded Paul the opportunity to be a testimony of God’s goodness, and of his faith in the Lord to take care of him. Because of Paul’s contentment the jailor and his household were saved. Do you think your response matters? It does. Sometimes, God just wants to see if we can be content, and rest in Him “…in whatsoever state I am…” in, “…therewith to be content.”

Another reason we need to be sure that our response is right is found in John 9:2 & 3. In this passage we find Jesus passing by a blind man and the disciples asking Jesus “who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answers them and He says, “Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” Our response to trials, tribulations, to emotional pain, and burdens must be right so that the works of God can be made manifest or made evident in us and in our lives.

What happens if our response is not right and the works of God cannot be made manifest in us? What would have happened if Job had cursed God? What if Lot had looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah? What if Paul, the greatest missionary ever, had given up after his first imprisonment? What if Joseph had had his brothers thrown in jail for what they had done to him? In the position that Joseph was in, he probably could have had his brothers executed. All of these people had the right response and God was made manifest or evident in their lives. You certainly can imagine in each of these situations though how history could have been altered, lives changed. There is even the possibility that civilizations could have been changed forever, had these people not had the correct response to God’s working in their lives.

What about your response? What about my response? Have we allowed God to be made manifest in our lives through the presence of trials and tribulations? Is it evident that it is in Him that we trust?

What if we don’t know how to respond? Sometimes, when attempting to bear the burden of another, we simply don’t know how to respond. This is especially true if we haven’t been down that road before, if we haven’t experience that particular kind of burden. Remember what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3:7. He says that there is “A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;” Sometimes, we don’t need to speak; sometimes it is just “…a time to keep silence”. Sometimes the burdened friend needs us just to sit with them in silence. Sometimes that is the greatest comfort we can give and that is the response that is needed.

Other ways we can respond to a burdened one is to make contact with them often, invite them to share and participate in activities, sit with them in church, a touch or a hug can mean so much, identify with them as much as possible, pray for and pray with them.

Not only does our response to burdens make us who we are, but as mothers, how we respond to our burdens and to the burdens of others also makes our children who they are.

I heard a very wise man say one time that “Your children are a message sent to a place you’ll never go”, and you know, that is so true. Our children are like little messengers that we send out for a lifetime of places that we will never go and a lifetime of people that we will never know. There is no greater blessing, no greater joy as a parent, than to have raised an excellent messenger. III John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” What a wonderful thing it is to have your children be that message of truth to a lost and dying world.

I remember after my sister’s funeral, as we rode in the funeral procession with a police escort leading the procession. We were traveling in the car directly behind the escort. My father was driving, my mother was beside him in the car, and my husband and I were in the back seat. The procession left the church and headed north up Highway 19. If you are in any way familiar with Highway 19 in Florida you know it runs the length of the Gulf Coast; it is a long, straight, flat, four-lane, divided highway. On a clear day you can see for miles down that highway. After several minutes of driving my husband tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Turn around, look.” To my astonishment, when I turned and looked out the back window of the car, I could not believe what my eyes were seeing. As far as I could see there were following us a double line of cars with their lights on. My sister had been that message to a place my parents would never go; she had been that message to a people they would never know. I knew the church was packed at the funeral, but I had no idea until someone told me weeks later that it was standing room only, that the lobby was packed with people, and that people were even standing outside. My sister was a message. Our children are a message, and that is why it is so important that our response be the correct response.

Not only does our response matter when it comes to our children but as wives, our response to circumstances can certainly affect our husbands. As grandmothers, our response to situations can have a profound effect on our children and grandchildren. As single women or women in the church our response to burdens can make or break our testimony. This is especially true in a time of great crisis, and even more so if you are in any type of leadership position in your church. People want to see what you are really made of. They want to know if you practice what you preach – and they’ll find out too.

No matter your age, no matter how young or old you are, there is always someone watching you. This was made very apparent to my oldest daughter who in her senior year of high school worked as a teacher’s aid once a week in a kindergarten classroom. One Sunday afternoon after church our family went out for dinner. After we were seated, in came a family I did not recognize with a four year old little girl. Right away this little girl spotted my daughter across the crowded room and began to tug at her daddy’s coat and announce with her arm outstretched and finger pointed in my daughter’s direction, “Daddy, that’s Rachel, daddy, that’s Rachel…” Rachel realized that day how important her words, actions, and deeds were, because a little four year old girl was watching.

Our response really does make a difference. It matters for a lot of reasons and to a lot of people, but let’s keeping in mind, that MOST IMPORTANTLY, our response matters to God.

The Bible warns against it, and it is important for us to guard against it. “It” is a root of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 says, “Looking diligently lest any man fail (lest our testimony be a stumbling block to others) of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby MANY be defiled;” Bitterness in our lives will only accomplish three things. It will make us a stumbling block to others, it will trouble us, and it will make many to be defiled. None of us want to be a stumbling block, none of us want to be troubled, and I am sure that none of us want to be responsible for the defilement of MANY others.

To God, bitterness is a very serious offense. Look at the magnitude of the seriousness of this “root of bitterness”; look what it is listed with here in this passage. Verse sixteen goes on to say “Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.”

Bitterness will not only affect our testimony which in turn affects others, but it will also affect us. Verse fifteen says, “…lest any root of bitterness springing up TROUBLE you.” God does not want bitterness to trouble us. However, bitterness WILL trouble us if we allow it to. Job says that bitterness is worse than death. In Job 9:18 he says, “He will not suffer me to take my breath (my life), but filleth me with bitterness.” It would be better if I were dead, Job says, but instead, I am filled with bitterness. Bitterness will affect you physically. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

I could have easily become bitter after my sister’s death for many reasons other than just the fact that she was taken from us at such a young age. I could have been bitter because she was my only sibling and all of a sudden I was an only child. I could have been bitter because she was the one who had elected to care for my parents when they were old – she really got out of that one. I could have been bitter when we went to court against the man who killed her, in a county that was said to be the toughest in Florida for DUI cases. He got off with just probation. Evidentially, he had never killed anyone before that night. It certainly would have been easy for me to become bitter the day that decision was handed down. Instead however, I praised God. I praised God that day that my sister was the one that was killed, and not the one that killed. I would rather her be dead than to have to live the rest of her life facing the fact that she had killed someone.

Bitterness will trouble you my friend, it will eat you up inside if you allow it to. It will trouble your heart if you are not careful, and “…out of it (the heart) are (all) the issues of life.”

Do you remember in Ruth 1:19, when Naomi, who was filled with bitterness, returned to her home in Bethlehem with her daughter-in-law Ruth? It had only been ten years since Naomi left Bethlehem. During that time she had lost her husband and sons, and the bitterness that she was now filled with had so affected her countenance that the people of Bethlehem, her friends, did not even recognize her. They ask, “…Is THIS Naomi?” She was so filled with bitterness that she says in verse twenty, “…Call me not Naomi, call me Mara…” which means bitter.

Ephesians 4:31, warns us to “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” If we look back up to verse thirty in that same passage we see the “WHY” of this warning – because it grieves the Holy Spirit. Bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit.

In Job 1:13-19, we read how that in the span of one day’s time, Job, a man that the Bible says was “perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.”, a man who had “a very great household”, and “was the greatest of all the men of the east.”, lost almost everything he had. He lost on that one day all of his seven sons and all of his three daughters – ten children in all. If that alone were not enough, he also lost five hundred oxen, five hundred asses, seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, and an untold number of servants. What would you or I do under these extreme circumstances? Look what the Bible reports that Job, the greatest man in the east, did. Job 1:20-22 says, “Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Verse twenty-two should be an inspiration to us all, it says, “In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.”

How can we question God’s working in our lives, and how can allow a root of bitterness to spring up troubling us and thereby grieving the Holy Spirit? Our response must be a right response.

Chapter 7

2005-07-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Bearing up Others

Galatians 6:2 says that we are to “Bear…one another's burdens…” The word used in this verse for burdens refers to the temporary overload that a friend may carry. This word is distinctly different from the word used in verse five of the same chapter which says, “For every man shall bear his own burden.” The word used in verse five for burdens refers to the everyday load that we or a friend may bear. Two verses, Galatians 6:2 & 5; one word, burdens; two different meanings, the first, a temporary overload, the second, an everyday load.

Bearing up others requires us to come along side the overburdened one, and to help by bearing up their temporary overload.

In the previous chapter of this book we looked at prayer as a way of casting our burdens, but did you know that prayer is also a way to bear the burdens of others?

We read in James 5:16 that we are to “…pray one for another that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man (or woman) availeth much.”

What does it mean “the effectual fervent prayer”? The word “effectual” means “producing or able to produce a desired effect” It comes from a Greek word meaning energy or work. To pray effectually for someone is going to take energy, it is going to be work, and it is going to have with it a desired effect – God’s will.

Now when we pray, we must have in our minds a desired effect; what we hope the outcome of our prayers will be. However, that outcome that we have in minds is not always going to be what God has in His plans; our desired effect is not always going to be God’s will. Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD.” We don’t always know God’s will; His will is not always revealed to us. He reveals to us only the things that we need to know at the time that we need to know them.

Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect….” We must realize that although we have in our minds a desired effect, as we should, we at the same time should pray that the will of the Lord be done. His “desired effect” in the scheme of all things, is so much better than ours! After all, “His way is perfect.”

“Fervent” means “exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling”. How intense is my feeling for my friend? How deep is my knowledge of her burden? Is it a burden that I too bear or have born? Is my prayer for her marked by great intensity of feeling?

When we lift up a friend to Christ in prayer in order to bear her burden are we acting effectually, are we praying fervently? Ask yourself, is my prayer so specific to produce a desired effect, is it marked by great intensity? Or is it just “Lord, help Jane, she’s having a hard time right now”?

Our prayer should be effectual – to produce a desired effect,it must be fervent – marked by great intensity.

When I say that our prayers need to be effectual to produce a desired effect I mean that they need to be specific, with specific results in mind. A good example of how our prayers need to be specific would be in how we pray for missionaries. I have, on occasion, been in a church and heard someone pray, “Lord, bless all of the missionaries around the world”. Now I ask you, do we really want the Lord to bless ALL of the missionaries around the world? Certainly we do not. There are missionaries around the world for every cult imaginable; certainly our intent in our praying is not for the Lord to bless them all, not ALL the missionaries. Be careful when you pray, be specific. When you pray for missionaries call them by name, and list their individual needs. The same should be done when we lift up a friend to Christ. Be specific, call her by name, and list her specific needs. Pray effectually and pray fervently. Another reason to pray specifically is so that we can see specific answers to our prayers. If I pray, “Bless so and so…” how do I see that prayer being answered? I like to see evidence of answered prayer. So I get specific, I get detailed, I tell God exactly who it is I am praying for (although He already knows) I tell Him exactly what the need is in as much detail as I feel is necessary. Then, when the answer comes, I can recognize it as answered prayer.

A passage that we will discuss in-depth in a later chapter, but I feel is quite appropriate in this chapter as well is II Corinthians 1:3 & 4. The passage says, “Blessed be God…Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

Can you find in this passage the reason God comforts us? Read it again and see if it is not as clear and evident to you as it was to me.

“Blessed be God…Who comforteth us in all ourtribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” II Corinthians 1:3 & 4

He comforts us that we may comfort them, that we may comfort others. How shall we comfort them or with what shall we comfort them? We comfort them by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. What a beautiful picture of God’s love being emulated through us to others. Can you imagine what a different world it would be if we all loved others like God loves us? Comforting others as He has comforted us, this is God being shed abroad in our hearts!

How long do we bear a burden for another? Shortly after Paul tells us that we are to bear one another’s burdens – the temporary overload - in Galatians 6:2, he writes in Galatians 6:9, “And let us not be weary in well doing…” Weary, wow, it’s easy for us to get weary, isn’t it? In this fast paced world of fast food, drive in dry cleaners, banking, and pharmacies we are almost born weary. But the Bible says “…let us not be weary…” Weariness should never hinder us from wanting to see restoration in a friend who is undergoing emotional pain.

Why should we not be weary in well doing? The verse goes on to say “…for in due season we shall reap…” We shall reap, that’s our desire, isn’t it? We want to reap, we want our prayers to be answered, we want that burden to be lifted, we want to be able to bear her burden, to give her relief. It says, “…we SHALL reap…” if we do these two things, first, If we are not “weary in well doing…” and second, “…if we faint not.” That’s all, don’t be weary and don’t faint; don’t get tired and don’t quit, and the Bible says that WE SHALL REAP!

We are to stay along side the one in need until we see restoration. We cannot be weary in well doing for in due season, the Bible says, we SHALL reap, if we faint not. “Until we see restoration”, how long is that going to be? For some, it may be a very long time – maybe even years. But if we desire to reap we cannot be weary in well doing, we cannot faint.

We read in the Word of God that Jesus was moved with compassion. Just as He feels our burden, and is moved with compassion towards us, we are to feel the burdens of other and to be moved with compassion towards them.

If we read all of Galatians 6:2, we find that it not only says, “Bear ye one another’s burdens…” but it goes on to say, “…and so fulfil the law of Christ.” The first time I read this I wondered as you probably did “what law?” What law of Christ will I fulfil by bearing another’s burden? I did some research on this and here is what I found. That law, “the law of Christ” is found back in John 13:34, where it says, “A new commandment I give unto you, (this is the law of Christ) that ye love one another;” That is the law of Christ that Galatians 6:2 is talking about “that ye love one another”. “Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ (that ye love one another).” That is what is going to happen when I bear the burden of another. I am going to develop a love for that person, an even deeper love than I already have.

Do you know what is so wonderful about God’s Word? It not only tells us WHAT to do, it also tells us HOW to do it. Not only do we read in John 13:34 about the law of Christ that we are to love one another, but the verse also tells us how to love one another. Christ tells us in that verse that we are to love one another “as I have loved you…” He is the greatest example of how to love and He should be our example of how to love.

“…as I have loved you” He says. How has Christ loved us? Well in Jeremiah 31:3 it says, “Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love…” He has loved me with an EVERLASTING love. What an example! An everlasting love, a love that never gets weary in well doing, a love that doesn’t faint, doesn’t give up, doesn’t quit.

We see that we are to love one another as Christ loves us. We see that He loves us with an everlasting love, and in I Corinthians 13:7, we see that “charity” or love “Beareth all things…”

What does “Beareth” mean? It means to protect, to cover, or to support. To do this, to be able to bear all things, including the burdens of others, we must be sensitive to the needs of others. In order to be sensitive to the needs of others we must realize that we view the circumstances, the trials, the tests, and tribulations of life through the lens of our own emotions. All the things that we have endured in our life, should give us a greater compassion and love for those around us, and ultimately drive us to be more like Christ. The things we have endured color or tint the lens of our own emotions and they will also affect our response to burdens.

Chapter 6

2005-06-01T18:17:00.000-04:00

Casting Your Burdens
“Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and He shall sustain thee:
He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22

We read in Psalm 55:22 that we are to “Cast (our) burden upon the Lord”. How exactly do we do that? One way we cast our burdens and learn to trust Him is through prayer. I heard someone say once and you may have heard this also,

Never let your troubles get you down,
except down on your knees.

The Bible assures us that not only will our prayers be heard but that they also will be answered. One of my favorite passages (and as you may have noticed, I have many “favorite passages”) in the Bible is found in Isaiah 64:24, where it says, ''And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I WILL ANSWER; and while they are yet speaking, I WILL HEAR.'' What a promise! Can you imagine a God that answers before we call, that hears while we yet speak? How can we NOT trust a God like that?

What an awesome God we serve! A God that answers before we call and hears while we yet speak; a God that wants US to cast ALL of our burdens and care on Him, a God that cares for me even though I fail Him so very often.

I Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.” If we hesitate in casting our care on Him aren’t we are essentially saying, “Lord, I can handle this on my own, I don’t need you in my life.”? Or, could we be saying, “Lord, I don’t trust you to handle this like I think it should be handled.”? Do we really think that we can handle things on our own and that we don’t need the Lord? No, down deep in our souls I believe we know we need Him, but it requires a certain amount of humility on our parts to recognize the fact that we can’t do it on our own. It requires humility to admit that we need God’s help, and to place our trust in Him. We must trust Him fully with every part of our lives, not just the big stuff, but the small stuff too.

As women, as single ladies, as wives, as mothers, as grandmothers, as sisters, as stay at home moms, as full time employees, as whatever we are in our daily lives, there are so many burdens that we bear, that I am convinced we were never meant to bear. One reason we bear these burdens is because we are not casting our burdens upon the Lord. We’re holding on to them – but WHY?

Proverbs 3:5 & 6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” He shall direct my path even through trials and tribulation, even through emotional pain. He wants to direct my path but for that to happen I must allow Him to direct my path; I must cast my burneds and not continue to hold on to them.

Casting our burdens on the Lord requires a significant amount of trust in Him. The Bible gives us some very specific promises regarding trust.

Psalm 2:12 “…Blessed are all they that put their trust in Him.”
Psalm 5:11 “But let all those that put their trust in Thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because Thou defendest them…”
Psalm 9:10 “And they that know Thy name will put their trust in Thee: for Thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek Thee.”
Psalm 17:7 “…O Thou that savest by Thy right hand them which put their trust in Thee from those that rise up against them.”
Psalm 18:2 “The LORD is my Rock, and my Fortress, and my Deliverer; my God, my Strength, in whom I will trust; my Buckler, and the Horn of my Salvation, and my High Tower.”
Psalm 18:30 “…He is a Buckler to all those that trust in Him.”
Psalm 31:19 “Oh how great is Thy goodness, which Thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee; which Thou hast wrought for them that trust in Thee before the sons of men!”
Psalm 34:22 “…none of them that trust in Him shall be desolate.”
Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.”
Psalm 37:5 “Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.”
Psalm 37:40 “And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: He shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in Him.”
Psalm 40:4 “Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust…”
Psalm 62:8 “Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us.”
Psalm 64:10 “The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and shall trust in Him; and all the upright in heart shall glory.”
Psalm 71:5 “For Thou art my Hope, O Lord GOD: Thou art my Trust…”
Psalm 73:28 “But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all Thy works.”
Psalm 91:2 “…He is my Refuge and my Fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.”
Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust: His truth shall be thy Shield and Buckler.”
Psalm 115:9-11 “O Israel, trust thou in the LORD: He is their Help and their Shield. O house of Aaron, trust in the LORD: He is their Help and their Shield. Ye that fear the LORD, trust in the LORD: He is their Help and their Shield.”
Psalm 118: 8 & 9 “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.”
Psalm 125:1 “They that trust in the LORD shall be as mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abideth for ever.”
Psalm 144:2 “My Goodness, and my Fortress; my High Tower, and my Deliverer; my Shield, and He in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.”

In the book of Psalms alone we find over twenty-two verses that contain promises for those who will put their trust in the Lord. Can you trust Him today? Can you trust Him enough to cast your burden? He careth for you.

I find that one reason I hold onto my burden is because I think that “I” can handle it – I CANNOT! Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and He shall sustain thee…” He SHALL sustain me! It doesn’t say here that He might sustain me; it says He SHALL sustain me, He promises - He WILL sustain me.

But what does it mean to sustain? To sustain means to give support to, to uphold, and to give relief. The word “sustain” is used only four times in the Bible; all four of those instances are found in the Old Testament. One is found in Nehemiah 9:21, where it says, “Yea, forty years didst thou sustain them in the wilderness, so that they lacked nothing; their clothes waxed not old, and their feet swelled not.” God led the Israelites through the wilderness for forty years. Their clothes never wore out, their feet didn’t swell, and if that’s not enough, the Bible says they lacked NOTHING. For forty years they lacked absolutely nothing at all. God knew and met all of their needs corporately and individually. He sustained over one million Israelites wondering through the wilderness for forty years. Don’t you think now that He can sustain you and me too?

God wants to sustain us, He wants to give us support, He wants to uphold us, and He wants to give us relief, He says so in His Word. All we have to do is to give Him our burdens. All you have to do is to cast your burden and “He shall sustain thee.” He promised.

How may times have you cast your burdens to the Lord only to take them back again? You pray, you give your burden to the Lord, and then you call Sally on the phone and you say, “Sally, I just don’t know what I’m going to do…blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” There you go again, you’ve retrieved your burden from the Lord and now you are bearing it again, by yourself. Or did you ever, really cast your burden?

The word “cast” used in Psalm 55:22, means to throw off, to get rid of, to discard, or to shed.

It means to completely let go of,
with no intention of ever taking it back.

It has no connotation of retrieving that which was cast. How often do we retrieve that which was cast? How often do we TEMPORARILY cast our burden on the Lord just to see what He will do? We know it’s temporary, we never intended for it to be permanent, unless He dose what we think He should do. How often do we take our burdens back because we don’t see God working or because we suddenly decide we can handle it on or own or do something to take care of it and we don’t need His help? Or, maybe we see Him working but don’t like His method?

When you voted for the last president of the United States, you went to the polls and you “cast” your ballot. Did you expect to retrieve it again if the results didn’t turn out the way you thought they should? No, of course not. Your intention was to cast your ballot once and be done with it. The same should be said for casting our burdens. Cast your burden and be done with it.

Now there is a good possibility that you and I both will cast another ballot in another presidential election, just as we may cast another burden, maybe even the same kind of burden, but not the same burden. “Cast thy burden upon the LORD…” and don’t take it back – He wants to sustain you!

Psalm 34:8 says, “O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man (or woman) that trusteth in Him.” Do you trust Him – do you trust Him enough to cast your burden upon Him. He will sustain you.

Job said in Job 3:25, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.” Do you fear? Do you have a fear? Do you have fears? Are you fearful? Is there something you are afraid of? Maybe it is the fear of not being a good wife or the fear of not being a good mother. Maybe you fear financial hardship, maybe you even fear for your life. Do you wrestle with the fear of losing someone close to you, someone you love, maybe it’s a parent, your husband, or a child? Fear is a burden. II Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

If God has not given us the spirit of fear, then where does it come from? It comes from Satan. He doesn’t want us to trust in God. He would much rather we be fearful. Satan uses our old sinful self to place doubts and fears in our minds. II Peter 5:8 reminds us that just as a lion attacks the sick, young, or straggling animal and chooses victims who are alone or not alert, Satan is waiting and ready to attack us when we are suffering. The verse reads, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” He is ready, waiting, and eager to devour any Christian who is feeling alone, weak, and helpless. Sometimes we are so focused on our troubles that we forget to watch out for our old adversary the devil. It is at these times that we are especially vulnerable to his attacks. Keep your guard up!

Fear is a burden that we need to cast upon the Lord. We need to be sober, be always watching, be vigilant, and constantly keeping our eyes on the Lord. Psalm 56:3 says, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” Cast you burdens, your troubles, and your fears to the Lord and trust in Him today.

Chapter 5

2005-05-01T21:29:00.000-04:00

Chapter Five
We Cannot do This Alone

In Jeremiah 1:6, we find Jeremiah speaking to the Lord. Jeremiah says, “Then said I, Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child.” I find it somewhat humorous the way that Jeremiah speaks to the Lord. “Behold” he says, as if he were going to reveal something new to God, something God didn’t already know. Jeremiah goes on to say “I cannot speak, for I am a child.” Jeremiah realized that he could not do what God had called him to do, alone; he realized the he needed God’s help. So, he went to the Helper.

Remember, God never asks us to do anything or go through anything that He will not empower us to do or give us the grace to endure. We also must recognize and remember that we cannot handle things on our own and that we need help from God. That is what God wants, He wants people who are able to recognize and admit that THEY cannot do it alone. He wants people who want His help, and realize that they need Him. God can do more through a person who realizes that THEY can not do it without His help than He can through a person (no matter how diligent they are) that thinks they can handle life on their own.

We read in Philippians 4:13, that “I can do all things (even recover from emotional pain) through Christ which strengtheneth me.” We ALL need His strength! All the works of His hands need His strength. Aren’t you so glad it’s available? All we have to do is to realize and admit that we cannot do it in our own strength.

Moses too, like Jeremiah, said that he could not do what God called him to do without help from God. So God sent Aaron to help Moses. God uses people who cannot do it alone.

We cannot do it alone, He is our only hope. Laminations 3:21-26 says, ‘’This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him…’’

His compassions fail not.
His mercies are new EVERY single morning!

I remember after my sister’s death, when I finally got to the point where I was able to sleep at night. I would wake up in the morning to the realization of her death and it would hit me all over again. It was not a dream, not a nightmare, it was real, it had really happened. That is when I claimed this passage. “…therefore have I hope…His compassions fail not. They are new (to me) every (single) morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion…therefore will I hope in Him…”

He is our only hope and only by His grace are we able to make it through, only by His grace are we what we are. In I Corinthians 15:10, Paul says, ''But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I (put your name in here), but the grace of God which was with me.'' He has bestowed on me His grace, and that is what makes me able to be what I am. That is what makes me able to do what I do, to endure what I endure. Now, it is my job to make sure that His grace is not bestowed on me in vain. Paul says, “I laboured more abundantly” I did all of this “more abundantly that they all…” but not alone “yet not I (did it), but the grace of God which was with me.” (I Corinthians 15:10)

You see, He is our only hope and only by His grace can we do what we do. Only by His grace can I cast my burden, only by His grace can I bear the burden of others. We cannot do it alone – but we CAN do it by His grace.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” We could turn this around a bit and paraphrase it to make it a little simpler to understand and it would say, “And we that love God KNOW that all things work together for good.”

TRUST

LOVE

MORE TRUSTWhen I read this I asked myself, that “KNOWING that all things work together for good to them that love God”, does that control me or do I allow my emotions to control me? Do I trust God enough to let that “KNOWING” control me? And what about the part that says, “…to them that love God?”

You know, we do not easily trust those that we do not properly love. I had to ask myself, “Do I really love God? Do I really love Him enough to trust Him?” We must first step out by faith and trust, and when we do, our love for Him grows. When our love for Him grows, so grows our trust in Him and we more readily place our trust in Him as we see His goodness.

At first, it is difficult for us to cast our burdens upon Him because there is a limited amount of TRUST. But as we begin to cast our burdens, we grow in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ as it says in II Peter 3:18, “But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ…” Along with growing in grace and in knowledge, we grow in LOVE for Him too. As a result, we are able to place MORE TRUST in Him. It becomes easier for us to cast our burdens, we TRUST more then we LOVE more, trust more, love more, trust, love… It is through this process that we really learn to love God wholly. The result is the knowledge we gain of His faithfulness to work all things out for our good and for His purpose.

It think it may be possible that sometimes this verse, Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” is overused or maybe not used in the correct context or situations. It seems cold and uncaring if we flippantly say “…all things work together for good…” to someone who is hurting or in emotional pain. Many times I think we quote the first part of the verse and forget about the second part of that says, “…to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” Loving God, being called according to His purpose, that is the most important part of the verse. If we have those things right in our lives then we can be assured that “…all things (will) work together for good…”

Most all of us at one time or another have watched as children participate in the relay race called the three legged race. In case you haven’t seen it in action or have forgotten what it is like, I’ll refresh your memory. Each team is made up of two individuals whose legs (one leg of each person’s) are tied together. The race usually goes along very well as long as the two people, whose legs are tied together, keep their rhythm in sync, are going the same direction, and have the same goal and purpose.

Some time ago I witnessed such a race in which four teams participated. The race was run around a circle with four cones that were equally spaced along the circle and one cone in the center of the circle. Each team started at a certain cone, had to complete a certain number of laps around the circle, pass their starting cone, and go to the center of the circle to grab the winning cone. In this particular race one of the rules was that if you tag the opponent in front of you, they are disqualified. As I watched in amazement wondering how any two people could be so coordinated to pull this off, the team that was leading was rounding the last cone. They had only to round the cone, head for the middle of the circle, and pick up the winning cone. However, I could see that something was terribly wrong. The girl on the right had her eyes set on the team in front of them, she was reaching and could almost tag them – her goal was to tag and disqualify that team. At the same time, however, the girl on the left had her eyes set on the winning cone, she was headed to victory – her goal was to grab the winning cone and to win the race. Because they did not have the same goal or purpose, they lost the race.

Do you REALLY love God – are you living your life according to His purpose? Do you and God have the same goals and purpose or are you and God like the two girls that I watched loose the three legged race – different goals, different purposes?

God works out all things for our good. However, that does not mean that all things that happen to us are going to be good things. There is still evil present in this fallen, present world and we are still a part of it.

Late, on a cold, December night, down a long, straight, narrow, Florida highway, Ginger was headed home from work. Headed in the opposite direction was a man in a large, heavy, work truck. He was headed home from a bar. His headlights danced into my sister’s lane. As they came closer, and closer, approaching rapidly, she chose to leave the highway and pulled her car onto the shoulder of the road. She hung onto the steering wheel, maneuvering the car on the rough shoulder of the road. He pulled his big truck onto the same shoulder and did the same. Her last words where frantic screams of “What do I do now, what do I do now?” The two vehicles met and my sister was immediately ushered in the arms of a loving, almighty, all-knowing, compassionate God.

Yes, there is evil in this present world, and we are not going to be able to escape being a part of that evil just because we are Christians. But we have the assurance that the One who created this world (not in its present condition – but in a perfect condition) is the One who has overcome this world, and He is able to turn that evil around for our good and for His ultimate, long-range purpose.

Do you really love God? Do you have your mind set on His purpose and His goal for your life? Remember, we were created for His glory and for His honor.

Have you ever wondered, “Does Jesus really care”? Does He really care about me? Let me assure you, He does! I came across this old song that says it better than I ever could.

Does Jesus Care?
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
To deeply for mirth and song;
As the burdens press, and cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?
Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight faces into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?
Does Jesus care when I’ve tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief I find no relief,
Though my tears flow all the night long?
Does Jesus care when I’ve said goodbye
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks Is it aught to Him?
Does He see?
O yes, He cares – I know He cares! His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, The long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

John W. Peterson. Great Hymns of the Faith. Grand Rapids, MI:
Singspiration Music, a division of Zondervan Corporation; 1974. p. 289words by Frank E. Graeff, 1860-1919

Of course He cares. Isaiah 53:3 says, that “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief…” He is a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief; His own grief on that cruel cross of Calvary and your grief too, and yes, He cares for you.

There is another song that says, “When you can’t see His hand, trust His heart”. There has been many times when I could not see His hand and I had to trust His heart. You may be in a situation like that today. You may be in a difficult place where you can’t see His hand, can’t understand the “why” of what you are going through. Can you trust His heart? Because you know, you can’t do it alone.

Chapter 4

2005-04-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

The Emotional Difference
The help meet meets the burden bearer

There is an emotional difference between a man and a woman. I probably didn’t have to tell you that. More than likely, you already knew it. So why have I dedicated an entire chapter to it? I want to encourage you as the unique creature you are, created by a loving and all-knowing God. He created you the way you are for a purpose.

We as women have the ability within ourselves to perceive and feel emotional pain that men might not perceive, feel, or even begin to understand. Women feel with the right side of their brains, which invokes a sense of empathy; men feel with the left sides of their brains, which tries to find a solution.

Why are we like that? Why are men and women so different from each other? Because God made us that way; He made us as women different from men for a purpose. He also made us as women different from each other. Remember how we discussed the fact that emotions are subjective, which means they affect us all in different ways? God created us different from the male species and from each other for a reason. He created us for His glory and for His purpose, and he created us different.

Men are made to be burden bearers – women are not. We find a few examples in the Bible of women bearing burdens. However, mostly the Bible talks of donkeys, Israelites, Egyptians, Hebrews, men, sons, and servants bearing burdens. Women are not emotionally designed or equipped to bear burdens, we are designed by God as a help meet. That is one reason it is so important for us to give our burdens to the Lord and to seek His help to be able to bear the burdens of others.

In Genesis 2:18, God essentially says, “Adam, you need help!” God knew when He created Adam that Adam would need a helper (a help meet) – it was no surprise to God. God also knew that although He had created all kinds of animals, none of them would be a suitable help meet for Adam. He had not yet created the helper that Adam needed. Verse 18 goes on to say, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” I find it humorous though that first, before God makes a help meet for Adam, He gives Adam the job of naming all of the animals that He had created. Do you think God knew that if He were to wait until after Eve were created to have Adam name all the animals the job might not ever get done – I wonder? So in Genesis 2:20, we find Adam giving names to all the animals. Adam must have also, at that time, been looking for a mate of his own. We would assume that he would have noticed that the animals all had mates. Adam must have realized that the elephant had a companion, that the lion and tiger both had their own mates that the sea gull had a cohort, and the cockatoo had a pal. All the animals that God created had a mate. But the Bible says that there was not a mate found for Adam. I guess that the dog really isn’t “man’s best friend” after all. Verse 20 says, “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field (these are natural born burden bearers); but for Adam there was not found an help meet (not a natural born burden bearer) for him.”

God creates for Adam a mate, a helper, a help meet in Genesis 2:22 & 23. It says there, “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man.” I would love to have been there to see that! Can you just imagine the look on Adam’s face when Eve came walking out from around that bush or from behind that tree? A perfect woman, probably the way we all would like to look with a perfect figure, preface skin, and perfect hair. Oh how I would like to have seen his face! Can you imaging how Adam must have felt after naming all of those animals, seeking but not finding, looking to no avail for a mate, and finally, there was Eve; the creation of an Almighty God purposely to be a helper to the first man after God’s own heart. What a moment! The passage goes on to say, “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Doesn’t that just sound like a beautiful love song? “…bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” Then Adam gives her a name, “…she shall be called Woman…”

God knew all along that He would create a help meet for Adam. It was no surprise to Him that “…for Adam there was not found an help meet…” (Geneses 2:20). It was no surprise to God that Adam needed a help meet; God intended it to be that way. Woman, the man’s help meet, was taken out of man. I’d like to think since God took woman out of man that now man is missing something that woman completes in him. Have you ever thought about that? There is something in me, the help meet, which completes my husband, the burden bearer.

As women, God made us special. We are purposely designed with a different emotional makeup than a man. Why do you think God made a woman for Adam instead of just creating another Adam for Adam? He created a woman for Adam because Adam needed something different than himself. Men and women are different because God made us that way for a purpose.

Several years ago, my father and mother were in an automobile accident. They were attempting to exit a very busy expressway just outside the city of Atlanta. The exit ramp was backed up with cars waiting in the emergency lane to exit the expressway. My father and mother were sitting still in their car, waiting to exit, when their car was rear ended and totaled by a car going highway speed. My father, who amazingly was not badly injured, called me from the emergency room, and this is what he said, “Your mother and I have been in a car accident. If you want to see your mother, you’d better come…” Now, to an emotional creature like me, this is what I heard my father say, “Your mother and I have been in a car accident. If you want to see your mother ALIVE, you’d better come NOW…”

You can imagine the panic that gripped my heart and the lump that formed in my throat. All the way to the hospital I prayed, “Lord, just let me see my mother alive one more time – please, let me tell her how much I love her one more time.”

When I arrived at the hospital I found my father pacing the floor of the emergency room and my mother in x-ray. She was in a great deal of pain and spent months in therapy following the accident, but her injuries were in no way life threatening. To say the least, I was very thankful and quite relived.

Do you see the difference in what my father said, and what I heard? What a non-emotional creature said and what an emotional creature heard? He said, “If you want to see your mother, you’d better come.” That’s simple enough, but me, being the emotional creature that I am, I of course read between the lines and added some words like “alive” and “now” or maybe I should say my emotions added the words “alive” and “now”. Who is in control here, me or my emotions? You may be feeling the same thing right now in your own life. You may be asking yourself, “Who’s in control, me or my emotions?”

There is a huge emotional difference between men and women. However, even though there is this great difference between us, we were both created by God, and He made us both for His glory and for His purpose. Isaiah 43:7 says, “…for I have created him (mankind) for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.”

Isaiah 43:1-7, is a beautiful passage in which the Lord speaks to Jacob, to Israel, and to all of us, reminding us that He created us and that He formed us, that we are not to fear because He has redeemed us and called us by name, and that we are His. The passage goes on to say in verses 2 & 3, “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour…” What a beautiful reminder of His sovereignty!

Are you passing though the deep, treacherous waters today? He is with you. Are you passing through the swift, flowing rivers of life? He promises that they shall not overflow thee. Are you walking through the fiery trials? Thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee, He says. Why? He says, “For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior.” Oh, how wonderful to have a God like that! A Savior! The Holy One!

The passage goes on to say in verse 4 & 5, that we are precious in His site, that He loves us, and that we should not fear for He is with us. Why? Verse 7 says, “…for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.” He has created us, formed us, and made us (both male and female, both non-emotional and emotional) for His honor, for His glory, and His purpose.

Two of my favorite passages in the Bible are about the potter and the clay. One is found in Jeremiah the other in Isaiah 64:8, where it says, “…thou art our father; we are the clay, and Thou our potter; and we ALL are the work of Thy hand.” God created us for His purpose, and we are all the work of His hands. He knows us just as the potter knows his lump of clay. Do you ever think of yourself as the work of God’s hands? What a precious and awesome thought.

Your mind, your will, and your emotions,
are ALL the work of His hands.

Job 34:19, reminds us that God is not a regarder of persons; the rich and the poor are all the same to Him, “…for they all are the work of his hands.”

We are made in his image. In Mark 12:17, certain Pharisees and Herodians came to Jesus and asked Him this question, “Master, we know that thou art true, and carest for no man: for thou regardest not the person of men, but teachest the way of God in truth: Is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar, or not?” (Mark 12:14). Jesus asked them to bring Him a coin. And then in verse 16 He asks, “…Whose is this image and superscription?” They answered, “Caesar's.” Then Jesus said to them, “…Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's…” The image of Caesar was stamped on the coin, whose image is stamped on you? We are made in His image, we belong to Him, and we should render ourselves unto Him. We also read this account in Luke 20, “…Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's.” Have you rendered yourself to God?

So far we’ve seen that we are emotionally different from each other and that we are emotionally different from men (our counterparts). We’ve learned that we are not made to be burden bearers, but instead we are made to be a help meet. We know that God made us the way He did for His honor, glory, and for His purpose. And, we learned that we are made in His image and we should therefore render ourselves unto Him. So, when burdens become a part of our lives, when emotional pain takes over, when we need to break down that wall of emotions, we must recognize that we cannot do it alone.

Chapter 3

2005-03-01T13:09:00.000-05:00

Breaking down the Wall of Emotions

“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

If there was a key verse for this book, Psalm 46:10 would have to be it. If I had a single, life verse, Psalm 46:10 would be that verse. But what does it mean to “Be still and know that I am God”? How do we, “Be still…”? How do we know God? It’s not just enough to know that He is God – we need to know God. So, how do we accomplish those things?

To “Be still” means to cause to heal, to relax, to let go, to abandon, to cease. To “know that I am God” means not only to know that He is God but most importantly, to know His character; to love Him and everything about Him, and to realize the He IS the only true and living God.

In order for us to be able to “Be still and know that I am God”, we are going to have to let go, to abandon all of the emotional baggage that we carry around with us. To do that, we must break down the wall of emotions that stand in the way of knowing God. That letting go, the total abandonment, that being still, that is how we are going to break down the wall of emotions that the burden we are carrying has built up.

You see, as we begin to “Be still…” that wall of emotions begins to break down, and as that wall of emotions begins to tumble, we begin to know God, and the more we know God, the more we are able to be still, and the more the wall tumbles. We must “Be still and know that I am God” if we want to continue to grow in Christ and keep our hearts in tune with His heart as they should be.

Emotional pain can be cause by so many different things. It may be caused by the death of a loved one as I and possibly you have experienced. Emotional pain may be caused by the inability to give birth to a child, the loss of a loved one due to circumstances other than death - to a worldly situation or to bad health. Emotional pain may be caused by the loss of our own good health, the loss of a job, financial problems, an abusive situation, the pain of past sins and worldly living, separation, divorce, hurtful actions or hurtful words whether they be intentional or unintentional. I could go on and on naming things that may cause us emotional pain. No doubt there are those of you reading this book and the particular situation that has caused your emotional pain was not listed. You know what that situation is and the things that we have and will discuss pertain to that emotional pain as well. Emotional pain can be as big or bigger than the death of a loved one, as small or smaller than unintentional hurtful words, and any thing in between.

If you have ever worked in full or part time Christian service, you may have thought when you started serving the Lord in that position that working with other Christians would be a perfect place of love and peace where everyone said nice things to each other and like the old song says, “…there never is heard a discouraging word…” It certainly should be and can be that way, but it not always is. More than likely, at some point along the way, the perception you had of that “wonderful workplace” was no doubt shattered. I’ve been in that situation. I should have known it was not a perfect place to work. After all, I was there – How could I have ever thought it would be perfect?

Allow me to share my experience. Several years ago, at a missions conference hosted by our church, there was the début of a project that I had worked on for several months. It was a special project, just for that conference, and I remember how an opportunity arose for my own emotions to get in the way of my growing in Christ – unintentional, hurtful words.

The Lord had given me a desire to somehow display all of the missionaries our church supported on a wall near the church foyer. Our church had just recently moved to this new facility and we did not have a representation of our missionaries anywhere except for their names bring listed on the back of the Sunday bulletin. I spent months researching each of our more than forty missionaries. I gathered facts about their field, the country they served in, and the mission board they served under. I collected a map of each country that was represented, a photograph of each missionary family. I listed each family member’s name, and recorded detailed contact information for each missionary. Then I framed all of the information, the map, and photograph for each missionary in an 8½ x 11 glass document holder – one for each missionary. The week before the conference began, a co-worker and I hung all forty plus displays around a beautiful world map that hung in the hallway near the church foyer. I had worked so hard and was truly pleased that I had done the best job I could do. I had seen a goal through to its end; months of hard work had culminated into a beautiful and informative display for all to enjoy.
The keynote speaker for the conference that year had no doubt seen bigger and better displays at other churches and made comments during a service that the display we had was not sufficient in size, insignificant actually, and pretty much pointless. He thought we should have poster size displays for each missionary hung in a more prominent place. He had no idea that just a week prior, we had nothing at all to represent the missionaries we supported – nothing except the Sunday bulletin. I thought we had taken a giant step forward from that.

When his comments rang out from the pulpit I felt as if all eyes were focused on me. I was not really hurt as much as I was embarrassed. Most of the people in the church probably did not even know that it was I who had put up that display. Even my own father and mother who attended the same church and were hosting the speaker and his wife in their home for the week didn’t know I was the one that had put up the display. My co-workers knew though, and other people would eventually find out.

Now there was an opportunity in full bloom for me to build up a wall of emotions and allow my growth in Christ to be halted or slowed. Emotional pain can be caused by something as little as unintentional, hurtful words and that wall of emotions can spring up quickly if we allow it too.

We have adequately defined emotional pain, but how do we define emotions? Here is was Webster’s dictionary says about emotions. It is “The affective aspect of consciousness; a state of feeling; physical reactions such as anger or fear, subjectively (which means we are all different and we are all effected differently by emotions) experienced as strong feeling and physiologically involving changes that prepare the body for immediate, vigorous action (which means that it effects our body).”

So, emotions affect conscious people – that’s us, we are all conscious, aren’t we? Emotions are a state of feeling that expresses itself physically; they cause a physical reaction. It is subjective; they affect us all differently. It invokes strong feeling, and physiologically involving changes. It prepares the body for immediate and vigorous action. It certainly can change us for the good or for the bad.

I’m sure you have heard someone refer to the “mind, will, and emotions”? Have you ever though of how much they are all related?

What effects my emotions will affect my mind
and the choices I make.
What effects my emotions will affect my will
and the actions I take.
My emotions will affect my whole self!

Basically, emotions are the way I feel. They are specific and intense and are a reaction to a particular event or series of events.

The connotation many times when one is speaking of emotions is that emotions are a bad thing. On the contrary! Emotions can be a bad thing or they can be a good thing. Happy is an emotion, love is an emotion, and so is joy. There is nothing wrong with being happy, in love, or joyful, is there? But you don’t meet people in therapy for those types of emotions, do you? Those kinds of emotions are easily controlled. So, they’re a good thing. However, emotions out of control are NOT a good thing.

Emotions out of control is when I allow
the way I feel to control me
instead of allowing what I know control me.

Emotion out of control is me allowing my feelings instead of my knowledge of the truth to control me and that is never a good thing.

Proverbs 3:5, says that I am not to lean on MY understanding. It says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto THINE own understanding.” Lean not on my understanding because my understanding is very limited and finite. My limited, finite understanding is not reliable, I cannot rely on it; it is not trustworthy, I cannot trust in it. I should not allow the way I FEEL to dictate what I DO – my actions. I should only allow the truth to dictate my actions.

Remember the last wedding you attended. The couple who were married, are they married as long as they “feel” like they are in love or is love an action, a choice we make, something we do even when we don’t feel like it? That couple that got married cannot allow the way they FEEL to dictate what they do. They cannot simply choose NOT to be married any longer the moment they don’t FEEL in love any more. If that was the case, probably none of us would be married – at least not for long.

I cannot allow the way I feel
to control the choices I make or the actions I take.

What does God’s Word say about emotions? Would you believe that the words “emotion” or “emotions” are not once mentioned in God’s Word? But the Bible does say in Hebrews 4:15 “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities…”

What are infirmities? Infirmities are trials, tribulations, weights, weaknesses. In II Corinthians 12:9, Jesus says, “…My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness….”

His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
His strength is sufficient for you and me.

Our infirmities make us defenseless, powerless, and helpless – they are burdens. Emotional pain could certainly be considered an infirmity.

There are different degrees of infirmities and emotional pain. Remember when we defined emotions? We read the word “subjectively” which means that we are all affected differently – in different ways, and to different degrees. What may devastate me emotionally, might not affect you at all, and what may devastate you emotionally, might not affect me at all.

An Illustration to validate my point: Do you like to garden? I care nothing about gardening. Oh, I appreciate a beautiful garden when I see one, don’t get me wrong. But as for maintaining a garden of my own, I don’t have the time nor desire to do so. Our two acres of un-manicured grass, pine trees, and shrubs is enough for me. My mother-in-law on the other hand, when she was alive was an avid gardener. She and my father-in-law had live for years on the same five-acre piece of property. Over time they turned this once over grown, wooded acreage into a beautifully manicured garden with strategically placed plants, flowers, trees, and shrubs covering it all.

I like computers. My husband bought me the latest and greatest lap top computer for Christmas a few years ago. It had all the bells and whistles; it was fast, light weight, top of the line, with a really big screen. I spent six weeks transferring everything from my home computer and my work computer to this new, beautiful piece of machinery which I was convinced would solve all of my problems, make my life much easier to manage, and help me to work more efficiently anywhere and everywhere I wanted to.

Now, to bring this illustration to a close, my mother-in-law was really into her gardening, she didn’t use a computer. I am really into computers, I don’t garden. Most all of us have probably seen on television or possibly in person the devastation that a tornado can do. If a tornado were to rip through my little two acres today, tearing up the grass, up rooting trees and shrubs, as long as it didn’t hurt me or my family, besides being a little shaken up because I’m not too fond of tornados, I’d be alright. On the other hand though, if the same thing had happened to my mother-in-law’s beautiful, five-acre, manicured garden, she, I’m sure, would have been devastated to loose what she and her husband have put so much of their time and energy into over many, many years.

Remember my new computer? Well, after weeks of transferring files, cleaning files off of the two old computers I was transferring from, loading new programs, deleting pre-loaded programs that I did not want, setting up everything just like I wanted it and thought it should be – the hard drive crashed. Brand new computer – the hard drive crashed – an unrecoverable crash! To say the least, I was devastated. How could this happen, it was a brand new computer? I had not backed up anything – yet. A stupid mistake, I know, and I knew better at the time too. I was in shock – years of work lost. Needless to say, I’m better about backing up now.

You see now how something that might devastate me emotionally, might not affect you at all, and how something that might devastate you emotionally, might not affect me at all.

We are all affected emotionally in different ways, in differing degrees. I have a co-worker who cries at the drop of a hat; I’ve probably cried twice in the last twenty years. We are different and affected differently. We can even be affected differently by the same emotional pain or burden.

As women (If you are a man reading this book, I apologize. I expected you to be a woman, but that’s ok – keep reading), I believe we have a special ability to perceive in others the presence of emotional pain or burdens. I believe also that we have a special ability within ourselves to feel emotional pain. Those abilities can be a help or a hindrance to us when it comes to breaking down the wall of emotions.

One thing we must realize through all of this though is that our abilitie to perceive and feel emotional pain are normally unique to us as women; men are created differently. In the next chapter we will discuss the difference between the emotions of a woman and that of a man.

Chapter 2

2005-02-01T06:48:00.000-05:00

Growing In Christ

What does it mean to “Grow in Christ” and how do we grow in Christ? Those are probably two of the most asked and most perplexing questions when it comes to living the Christian life.

Our Christian life should be a continual process of growing in Christ and becoming more like Him. We are made in His image it says in Genesis 1:26 and His desire for us is that we be like Him. Of course, we will never be able to fully be like Him as long as we are a part of this sinful world. However, we should always be striving every day to be more like Him and less like our old sinful selves.

It sounds crazy for me to strive to be something I know I can not attain to in this present world. My desire though is not that I would be JUST like Him, I know I can’t be that. Nevertheless, my desire is that I would be MORE like Him; more like Him today than I was yesterday, and less like my old sinful self today than I was yesterday – that’s attainable.

Growing in Christ is a continual process of becoming more like Him and less like me. That should be my desire. That is what it means to grow in Christ. Now, that we know what it means, how do we do it? How do we grow in Christ?

We know that the obvious first step to growing in Christ is that we must know the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior. We must be a Christian in order to be able to grow in Christ.

You may be reading this book and know that you are not a Christian or maybe you think you might be a Christian but you are not 100% sure about your salvation and eternal security. Maybe you are not even sure what a Christian is or how to become one. It is for that reason, that I want to share with you the simplicity of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and how clear the plan of salvation is presented in the book of Romans.

What is a Christian? There are some specific characteristics that a Christian will exhibit and while we know that “…man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7), it is by these characteristics that we distinguish the believer from the nonbeliever. Keep in mind though, that it is impossible for us to judge the heart of another, only God knows the heart. Jeremiah 17: 9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Only God can know our hearts.

Are you really born again? Does your life exhibit these three, simple characteristics? These characteristics will be made evident in the life of a true born again believer – a Christian.

1. You will have no habitual sin present in your life. The Bible says in I John 3:9, "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin". This of course does not mean that we will never sin again after we have been born again. It simply means that because of our desire to please the Lord, we will not make a practice of habitual sin. We are not prefect – far from it. II Corinthians 5:17 says, “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” If we sin, we should confess it to the Lord immediately. He has promised to forgive us. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” A Christian will not have habitual sin present in their lives.
2. You will have a desire to be more like Christ. I John 2:29 says, “Everyone that doeth righteousness is born of Him.” Christ is not only our Savior, He is our example. The Christian should always be striving to be more like Him. He told His disciples in John 14:15, “If ye love Me, keep My commandments.” The true Christian will have the desire to please the Lord Jesus in all that he or she does.

There are just two choices on the shelf,
pleasing God or pleasing self.
Ken Collier, The Wilds

A Christian will not have the desire to follow after worldly things, but will have the desire to be more like Christ.
3. You will have a love for others and a burden for the lost. I John 3:11 says, “This is the message that ye have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.” Romans 10:14 says, “How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?” This should spur us to conviction and give us a desire to reach the world for Christ. A Christian will have a love for others and a burden for the lost.

If you have any doubt whatsoever about your salvation, please take time to read carefully the following simple plan of salvation that is found in the book of Romans. Get this settled between you and the Lord, once and for all, today, so that you can know for sure where you will spend eternity.

Why do I need to be saved?
Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Romans 3:10 “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.”
Romans 5:12 “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.”
What does sin do to me?
Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
What did Christ do for me?
Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Who can be saved?
Romans 10:13 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
What do I need to do to be saved?
Romans 10:9 & 10 “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth, the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart God hath raised Him from the dead thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, whosoever believeth on Him shall not be ashamed.”

If you are not sure about your salvation, please do not read another chapter in this book until you have taken care of the most important decision of your life. Here is a simple prayer that will guide you if you are ready to make that important decision today.

Dear God, I confess to you now that I am a sinner.I believe that you are the Son of God,and that you died on the cross,and shed your precious blood for my sins.I believe that you rose from the deadand are in Heaven today. I am placing my trust in you Lord. Come into my heart,forgive me of my sins, and save me now.I commit myself to live for you Lord.Thank you for saving me.In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I hope if you prayed that prayer just now that you will let someone know, and that you will begin today to grow in Christ.

Now, once you are a Christian, how do you grow in Christ? Here are four simple, yet vitally important, steps we as Christians need to take to assure that we are continually growing in Christ and becoming more like Him after our salvation.

We need to be involved in a church that preaches and teaches the Word of God. Hebrews 10:25 says, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” So much the more, today, because we see the day approaching. Time is short and times are evil. Trials and tribulations are more prevalent and rampant than ever before. When a child of God is hurting, there is no more important time for him or her to be in church than at a time like that. Where else are we going to get the encouragement we need from God’s Word and from God’s people? It is so important that we be involved in a church that preaches and teaches the whole Word of God. When I say “involved”, I don’t mean to just go and sit on Sunday mornings and listen to the sermon. I mean INVOLVED, attending Sunday School, singing in the choir, going to Bible study, mother’s day out, working where you’re needed, faithful on Sunday evenings and Wednesday evenings. Whatever you can do to be a part of the fellowship of believers will always be a help to your growth in Christ. We need to be involved in a church that preaches, teaches, and believes the whole Word of God in order to continually growing in Christ and become more like Him.

We need to be DAILY studying the Word of God. As it says in II Timothy 2:15, “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” Studying God’s Word, meditating on it, and memorizing scripture should be a part of our daily existence. We must build our lives on and around the Word of God, and we must build His Word into our lives, as its core foundation, if we want to be able to grow in Christ. His Word and His Word alone is the text book of life that shows us how we are to live for Him and how we should serve and please Him. We wouldn’t think of going a day without physical food would we? Then why should we go a day without spiritual food? Isn’t the spiritual food so much more important than the physical? We need to be daily studying the Word of God in order to continually growing in Christ and become more like Him.

We need to be praying ALWAYS and always in an attitude of prayer. I Thessalonians 5:17 & 18 says that we are to “Pray without ceasing. In EVERY THING give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” We should be always in an attitude of prayer.

This attitude of prayer is built on three things:

First, acknowledgment of our total dependence on Him for everything.
Second, realization of His presence within us.
Third, determination to obey Him fully.

Always in an attitude of prayer, giving thanks in EVERY THING and for every thing – not only the things that we see as good things in our lives, but giving thanks also for the things that we see as bad. We need to be praying always and always in an attitude of prayer in order to continually growing in Christ and become more like Him.

We need to be witnessing of Him and all that He has done for us. Matthew 7:20 says, “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” How many times have we seen God give strength to Christians and enable them by His grace to turn a bad situation into good because of their testimony of His goodness? There is no greater time for us to be a witness for Him than when we are enduring trials and tribulations. Those are the times when people are going to be watching us to see if we practice what we preach, to see what we are REALLY made of, and to see if we can depend on Him for our every need. We need to be witnessing of Him and all that He has done for us in order to continually growing in Christ and become more like Him.

We need to be continually growing in Christ and continually become more like Him. Genesis 1:26 says, “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness…” We were made in His image, for His glory, and for His purpose. His desire is for me to be like Him. He knows me, yet He still loves me. He wants me to be continually growing in Him and continually become more like Him. That must be my desire too.

Now that we have said all of that, what we really want to find out is how do we continue to grow in Christ in spite of emotional pain? When I am carrying that burden or those burdens how do I pick up the pieces of my life and get my life back on track and continue to grow in Christ? That is the question we want to answer.

I can remember after my sister’s death the feeling I had of standing out in space, on nothing, with nothing around me, lonely and all alone, watching the world spin, and spin, and spin, watching life for everyone else go on, and on, and on. I couldn’t seem to get back on to the world and in to life as I once knew it. Life there in the world continued for people all around me, as it had before my sister’s death; most of them knew nothing of her death. But for me, life had come to a sudden, grinding, halting, gut-wrenching, and complete stop! I couldn’t seem to get my life back together again. Things like picking up the dry cleaning, meeting appointments, paying bills, these things were no longer important to me. The hurt inside me had taken over; it had taken control of my emotions which had taken control of me. The world and the people within it continued on as before; but I was not a part of it. I wondered how I could possibly get my life back together; much less get it back together and continue to grow in Christ. Maybe you feel much like this today.

One thing I found was that “I” could not get my life back together; “I” could not do it – not alone. I found out that in order to get my life back together I would need help from the Lord. I knew that I could continue to grow in Christ the same way I grew in Christ before I carried this burden; the problem was that now there was this wall between me and growing in Christ. That wall is called “emotions”. In my case it was a big, strong, overpowering wall of emotions. For women especially, that wall of emotions can become something even bigger, stronger, and more overpowering than any other part of our life.

So, the question is, when we get to that point in our life where we are faced with this wall of emotions, how do we overcome and break down the wall of emotions in order to continue growing in Christ?

chapter 3 coming in March...

Chapter 1

2005-01-01T11:50:00.000-05:00

The Introduction

My primary purpose and goal in writing The Heart that Heals was not just to help you, although I hope the book is a tremendous help to you. My ultimate desire though, is that this book will help you help others. You, helping others, will glorify God, and in turn, help you also.

helping
others
glorifies
God and
helps me

your name
here
Write your name in the diagram to the left. I put my name there, and now it says, “Patsy, helping others, glorifies God and helps me too”. That is my desire, that this book would give you the strength not only to help you to cast your own burdens on the Lord, not only to bear the burdens of others, but also that it will give you the strength to teach others how to do the same.

I attended a missions conference, some years ago, and watched, as the keynote speaker demonstrated a very simple, yet profound, point. The point he was trying to make was, If he were to win the souls of the world to the Lord one by one, the time it would take would be immeasurable, the task daunting, needless to say, impossible. But, if he won a soul to the Lord, and at the same time taught that person to be a soul winner, and the two went out to win two more souls, and teach them to be soul winners, and then, the four went out…You see where this is going, and you may have seen a similar demonstration yourself. Let’s look at the demonstration and see how it applies not only to soulwinning, but also to other parts of our lives.

His demonstration went something like this. The keynote speaker stood on one side of the platform and another man, who had been chosen from the audience, stood on the opposite side of the platform. The speaker went out into the audience and brought back to his side of the platform a person, representing a soul he had led to the Lord. The man on the opposite side of the platform did the same. The speaker then left that person, which represented the soul he had led to the Lord, on his side of the platform, and proceeded out into the audience to retrieve yet another person, representing another soul led to the Lord, and he brought that person to his side of the platform. At the same time however, the man on the opposite side of the platform, who not only led a soul to the Lord but also taught that person to be a soul winner, went out into the audience with the person he had led to the Lord, and they both retrieved each a person, brought them back to the platform, representing two more souls that were saved. The speaker went out again, and the now four soul winners on the opposite side of the platform also went out. Now the speaker’s side of the platform held three people and the other side of the platform held eight. This continued on for several minutes. Each time, the speaker brought back one soul, and each time the soul winners on the opposite side of the platform doubled in size. Amazing – What a concept! You can see now, how quickly the one side filled with people, representing souls won for Christ, and how slow, and toiling, the work continued on the keynote speaker’s side of the platform.

Some years later after viewing that graphic demonstration, and being convicted of my own lack of soulwinning, I realized that the demonstration not only applied to soulwinning, although that is of the utmost importance, that is our purpose on this earth, but it pertains to many other aspects of our lives as well.

I realized that the demonstration I had witnessed some years prior was similar to the old adage of teaching a hungry person how to fish. The adage goes something like this:

If I feed a man a fish, I feed him for one day;
but, if I teach him how to fish, I feed him for life.

Now, to draw a parallel between the demonstration, the old adage, and what I want to accomplish through this book. If I help you, I help only you, and through Christ a LIFE can be changed. But, if I help you help others, you help others to help others, and those others all help others to help others, then, through Christ LIVES can be changed. Do you see the difference here between a LIFE being changed and LIVES being changed? You can see now how quickly the teaching others to help others multiplies, and how much more effective our work for God can be when we do that.

So, my desire is that through Christ, with the help of this book, you will be helped, and will also be challenged to help others, which, in turn, will glorify God and help you.

chapter 2 coming in February...