Friday, November 04, 2005
Chapter 11
Additional Helps
Throughout my journey to learn to “Be still and know that I am God” the Lord has also shown me other things that have helped my heart to heal. In this appendix of additional helps I list several of them for you and hope that they will be a help to you as they have been to me and so many others.
1. Be encouraged because burdens give us opportunities that we otherwise might not have.
a. They give us the opportunity to draw closer to God and to each another. Through burdens and emotional pain we learn to depend on God and we develop a common bond with others.
b. They strengthen our prayer life in ways that nothing else can do.
I remember several years ago when a friend of mine, the athletic director at the school where my children attend, dislocated his shoulder. If you have ever experience a dislocated shoulder, you know how disabling and painful it can be. He was unable to work; he couldn’t even teach class for several days. I recall his testimony of how God used that time in his life to draw him closer and how his prayer life was strengthened because of the time he spent alone with God.
c. Burdens give us compassion toward others that we might not otherwise have.
d. Burdens give us the opportunity to edify and to lift up others, and to be a testimony of God’s goodness.
Remember when I told you about looking back at the funeral procession, after my sister’s funeral, as we left the church and headed toward the cemetery? All of those hundreds and hundreds of people were opportunities for us to be a testimony of God’s goodness. There are people around you, watching you, especially during times of trials and tribulation. There is no better time to be a testimony of His goodness.
Start an encouragement file. One of the biggest files I have in my office today is an encouragement file. I started that file years ago, at the suggestion of a wise person, and I’m so glad I did. That file is precious to me. If there were a fire and I had only moments to grab files and escape, that file would be one of the ones I would grab. There are letters, notes, and cards of encouragement from four year olds to ninety year olds in that file. Any time that I am down, I can go to that file and pull something out of it that will be an encouragement to me.
Add to someone else’s encouragement file by writing thank you notes. It is difficult for a thankful person to become a bitter person. When we are thankful, we are less likely to look at what we see as the bad in our lives, and more able to see the good. One of the first things I did to help my heart to heal after my sister’s death, and it was actually several weeks after her death when I began this, but at another wise person’s suggestion, I began to write thank you notes. I started back as far as I could remember, probably when I was four or five years old, and I began to write thank you notes to every one I could think of that had had a part in my life. It is one of the best pieces of advice I can give you and one of the best things I did to heal my heart. I found that when you enter into an attitude of thankfulness for all that has been done for you, you will see how wonderfully you have been blessed, you will see how the Lord has brought certain people and certain circumstances across the pathway of your life to mold you and to make you what you are today.
Beware of the effect of things like color, music, the foods you eat, and even what you wear. I’m not going to go into detail about all of these, but let me just expand on the effect color can have in your life. I am an artist, and have studied in-depth the effect of color and the different feelings it invokes in us. The advertising world and marketing professionals have known this stuff for years and use it extensively to their advantage. I remember when my youngest son was about eight years old and our family dentist suggested that we take him to a pediatric dentist because of some special problems he had with his teeth. The pediatric dentist he sent us to had an office in the same building, directly across the hall from the orthodontist we used. I enjoyed going to the orthodontist’s office because it was painted floor to ceiling like Key West, Florida; the colors were light, bright, and uplifting. The entire office was a virtual work of art. The pediatric dentist office across the hall however, was a different story. It wasn’t until about our third or fourth visit to their office that I realized through my own experience the psychological effect that color can play on a person. I had read about it, but never experience it for myself in such a profound, unexpected way. You see, the dentist office was like the orthodontist office, a work of art from floor to ceiling, and maybe even more so because of the amount of detailed work that was displayed there. But the dentist office was painted floor to ceiling like a jungle. The colors were dark and depressing not light and calming like the orthodontist office. My son and I visited that office at least once every six months for several years, and every time I left I would feel an overwhelming sense of oppression. I finally asked our family dentist to take my son back into his practice – all because of the colors on the wall in the pediatric dentist office and the oppressive feelings it left me with.
It is well documented the effect that colors can have on us. The color black gives the impression of authority and power, it is stylish and timeless. The color white implies innocence, purity, and sterility. Red is an emotionally intense color, it stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. Pink is a tranquilizing color. I’ve even read of sports teams that paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams pink so that their opponents will lose energy. Blue too, is tranquil and peaceful, It is one of the most popular colors. Studies show that people are more productive in blue rooms. It has been reported that the color blue actually causes our bodies to produce calming chemicals. No wonder God made the sky and ocean blue. The orthodontist office was mostly blue. Green is a calming, refreshing color. Television stations often have guest who are waiting to appear sit in “greenrooms” to relax. Yellow is a cheerful color, it is considered to be an optimistic color, and is said to enhance concentration, that’s why legal pads are yellow. Brown implies something that is solid, reliable, and genuine. When I first read this I thought about that package delivery company that drives the brown trucks – they’d like that.
You see, color really can play a roll in the way we feel. Just as colors can affect us, so can the music we listen to, the foods we choose to eat, and the clothes we wear.
I remember when a friend of mine explained to me the routine he followed before taking college exams. One of the last things he always did was to put on his favorite outfit, the one he felt the best in. It would always be something very nice, dressy, and something he felt comfortable wearing. He had read studies of how students tested better when wearing their best clothes.
In a similar way I found this to be true in my own life. When I come home from a long day’s work, I have two choices. I can either keep on the clothes I wore to work – usually they are the dry clean only type, or I can change into something more comfortable – usually sweat pants and a tee shirt. I have found that I accomplish much more and feel more energetic if I keep on my work clothes. Unfortunately though, this runs up the dry cleaning bill. If I change, and put on a worn-out, comfortable, pair of sweat pants and a ragged tee shirt – usually my outfit of choice, my energy level drops dramatically and consequently, I am much less productive.
Allow the Lord to prepare you ahead of time. Be open to His leading and guiding; allow Him to work in your life. I could share with you example after example of how the Lord prepared us as a family before my sister’s death. We didn’t see it then, but looking back we can clearly see His hand and it only confirms in our minds His sovereignty in every detail of our lives, even the small, seemingly, insignificant details. He is always working in our lives to prepare the way before us.
Just an example – When my parents first moved to Florida my sister was in her freshman year of high school. She made friends with a group of girls who she later found out were not headed in the same direction in life that she was. Their values were different, their morals were different, and the longer the friendships lasted, the more evident it became that Ginger need to break off her relationships with them and find a group of new friends. After about a year and a half, she did just that, but by doing so she made some real enemies out of what had once been friends. They could not understand why she could no longer go places and do things with them.
Ginger was a starter on the high school basketball team. During her senior year, she developed a severe case of asthma. After collapsing and nearly dying on the court, her coach, not wanting to take any more chances, left her sitting on the bench for the remainder of the season. Ginger graduated from high school with a real bitterness towards that coach because of her decision not to allow her to play.
A few weeks before her accident, Ginger called those girls with whom she had once been friends, and she called that coach for whom she had once played. She met with each of them, explaining her feelings and asking for forgiveness for any wrong she had done towards them.
Another example – Nine days before Ginger’s accident she bought a life Insurance policy. How many eighteen year olds do you know of that go out, on their own, and purchase life insurance? I don’t know of any except my sister. The policy my sister purchased was for fifty thousand dollars, double indemnity. She only made one fifty dollar payment on it.
Last example – On the night of Ginger’s accident my parents gave to her a Christmas present, thirteen days early. They had no reason to, they just did. That night my father, mother, and sister had a special family time together for my father’s birthday – yes, it was my father’s birthday.
I believe the Lord arranged these things and caused them to happen just the way they did, to prepare us for what He knew was to come. You may think that all of these things were merely coincidences, but I could go on and on with example after example. By the time I finished, you too would be convinced as I am that this was all much, much more than just a matter of coincidence. It was God’s providential hand in our insignificant lives. I know of other people, who have recorded similar works of the Lord in their lives as well.
Memorize scripture. Memorizing scripture has always been a difficult thing for me. You have probably heard the old adage that says, anything worth having is worth working for. Well, this is one thing that is, without a doubt, worth working for. When we are going through trials, tribulation, or emotional pain, what better thing to get us through it than memorized scripture?
I realized several years ago that when I really got serious and made myself memorize scripture, it snowballed. In a funny kind of way, I think it stretched my mind. It seams that the more I memorize, the easier it gets for me to memorize. My memory, I believe, has actually improved. And as I get older, this helps in other areas of my life as well!
I started with very simple passages like, “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. I wrote it on sticky notes and stuck it on the visor of my car, on my bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator – where I go way to often. You will be amazed at how easy it is to memorize a verse if you make yourself say it every time you open the refrigerator door. It is wonderful to be able to pull those memorized verses out of my head when I need them. Another memorization aid – put them to music – sing Psalms of praise!
Remember that God meant it for good. In Genesis 50:19 & 20, Joseph confronted his brothers years after they had sold him into slavery, and this is what he said, “…Fear not: for am I in the place of God?” He is saying to them, can I be the judge of this thing that you have done? Joseph realized that only God knows the big picture; only God knows what is really in our best interest. Can we be the judge of what God allows in our lives? Joseph goes on to say, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” His brothers meant evil towards Joseph when they carried out their evil plan to get rid of him, but God didn’t, God meant it for good. All the while when Joseph’s brothers were making their plans they didn’t know it, but God was planning to use their evil deeds for the good “…to save much people alive…” of many people. He did just that, he used the brother’s plans, and Joseph’s willing heart to save much people, even the brothers. We cannot be the judge, God meant it for good.
Sometimes we think we know exactly how things should work out best, how things should fit together in our lives, the circumstances, and the timing, it all seems to be so clear to us. I remember the story of a little boy who thought he was helping out by put all the keys on a computer keyboard in alphabetical order. Sometimes, we are like that little boy. We want to put all the keys in the order that makes the most sense to us, but that’s not always the order that is best for us.
Remember, Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto THINE own understanding.”
I’m reminded of a story of another little boy who is watching his mother create a beautiful tapestry. You’ve probably all read or heard this story before. The tapestry is stretched over a wood frame and the boy sits beneath it on the floor watching as his mother pushes and pulls the needle and threads back and forth through the fabric. From where the boy sits, he sees only the under side of the tapestry. It is matted with knots and pieces of different color threads and is not very pretty to look at. It is similar to the site of our own lives through our own eyes. But, the mother who sits above the tapestry, looking down at the right side of it, sees a different picture. The picture she sees is one of beauty, as the character of the tapestry is being formed one thread at a time. You see, the little boy and the mother are both looking at the same tapestry but seeing two totally different views because of their unique perspectives. It is just like you and God, both looking at your life. You are both looking at the same life, just from different perspectives. The side you see looks like a matted, knotted-up, mess, with different lengths and colors of threads hanging all about it. But, the side that God is looking at, looks like the character of a beautiful tapestry in the works.
Do you remember in the book of John, when Jesus was washing the feet of the disciples? When He came to Peter, Peter questioned Him, as he did so often. He said, “Lord, are you going to wash MY feet?”, and Jesus answered him and said in John 13:7, “…What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.” What He does in our lives, we know not, we cannot understand now, but we shalt know hereafter.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD.” Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect: the Word of the LORD is tried: He is a buckler (a shield of protection and strength) to all those that trust in Him.” We ALL need God’s protection and His strength. The strongest person on earth is infinitely weaker than God and certainly needs His unmatched help.
His thoughts are not my thoughts; His ways are not my ways. However, His way IS perfect. All I’ve got to do is to trust Him, to “Be still and know…” that He is God!
Throughout my journey to learn to “Be still and know that I am God” the Lord has also shown me other things that have helped my heart to heal. In this appendix of additional helps I list several of them for you and hope that they will be a help to you as they have been to me and so many others.
1. Be encouraged because burdens give us opportunities that we otherwise might not have.
a. They give us the opportunity to draw closer to God and to each another. Through burdens and emotional pain we learn to depend on God and we develop a common bond with others.
b. They strengthen our prayer life in ways that nothing else can do.
I remember several years ago when a friend of mine, the athletic director at the school where my children attend, dislocated his shoulder. If you have ever experience a dislocated shoulder, you know how disabling and painful it can be. He was unable to work; he couldn’t even teach class for several days. I recall his testimony of how God used that time in his life to draw him closer and how his prayer life was strengthened because of the time he spent alone with God.
c. Burdens give us compassion toward others that we might not otherwise have.
d. Burdens give us the opportunity to edify and to lift up others, and to be a testimony of God’s goodness.
Remember when I told you about looking back at the funeral procession, after my sister’s funeral, as we left the church and headed toward the cemetery? All of those hundreds and hundreds of people were opportunities for us to be a testimony of God’s goodness. There are people around you, watching you, especially during times of trials and tribulation. There is no better time to be a testimony of His goodness.
Start an encouragement file. One of the biggest files I have in my office today is an encouragement file. I started that file years ago, at the suggestion of a wise person, and I’m so glad I did. That file is precious to me. If there were a fire and I had only moments to grab files and escape, that file would be one of the ones I would grab. There are letters, notes, and cards of encouragement from four year olds to ninety year olds in that file. Any time that I am down, I can go to that file and pull something out of it that will be an encouragement to me.
Add to someone else’s encouragement file by writing thank you notes. It is difficult for a thankful person to become a bitter person. When we are thankful, we are less likely to look at what we see as the bad in our lives, and more able to see the good. One of the first things I did to help my heart to heal after my sister’s death, and it was actually several weeks after her death when I began this, but at another wise person’s suggestion, I began to write thank you notes. I started back as far as I could remember, probably when I was four or five years old, and I began to write thank you notes to every one I could think of that had had a part in my life. It is one of the best pieces of advice I can give you and one of the best things I did to heal my heart. I found that when you enter into an attitude of thankfulness for all that has been done for you, you will see how wonderfully you have been blessed, you will see how the Lord has brought certain people and certain circumstances across the pathway of your life to mold you and to make you what you are today.
Beware of the effect of things like color, music, the foods you eat, and even what you wear. I’m not going to go into detail about all of these, but let me just expand on the effect color can have in your life. I am an artist, and have studied in-depth the effect of color and the different feelings it invokes in us. The advertising world and marketing professionals have known this stuff for years and use it extensively to their advantage. I remember when my youngest son was about eight years old and our family dentist suggested that we take him to a pediatric dentist because of some special problems he had with his teeth. The pediatric dentist he sent us to had an office in the same building, directly across the hall from the orthodontist we used. I enjoyed going to the orthodontist’s office because it was painted floor to ceiling like Key West, Florida; the colors were light, bright, and uplifting. The entire office was a virtual work of art. The pediatric dentist office across the hall however, was a different story. It wasn’t until about our third or fourth visit to their office that I realized through my own experience the psychological effect that color can play on a person. I had read about it, but never experience it for myself in such a profound, unexpected way. You see, the dentist office was like the orthodontist office, a work of art from floor to ceiling, and maybe even more so because of the amount of detailed work that was displayed there. But the dentist office was painted floor to ceiling like a jungle. The colors were dark and depressing not light and calming like the orthodontist office. My son and I visited that office at least once every six months for several years, and every time I left I would feel an overwhelming sense of oppression. I finally asked our family dentist to take my son back into his practice – all because of the colors on the wall in the pediatric dentist office and the oppressive feelings it left me with.
It is well documented the effect that colors can have on us. The color black gives the impression of authority and power, it is stylish and timeless. The color white implies innocence, purity, and sterility. Red is an emotionally intense color, it stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. Pink is a tranquilizing color. I’ve even read of sports teams that paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams pink so that their opponents will lose energy. Blue too, is tranquil and peaceful, It is one of the most popular colors. Studies show that people are more productive in blue rooms. It has been reported that the color blue actually causes our bodies to produce calming chemicals. No wonder God made the sky and ocean blue. The orthodontist office was mostly blue. Green is a calming, refreshing color. Television stations often have guest who are waiting to appear sit in “greenrooms” to relax. Yellow is a cheerful color, it is considered to be an optimistic color, and is said to enhance concentration, that’s why legal pads are yellow. Brown implies something that is solid, reliable, and genuine. When I first read this I thought about that package delivery company that drives the brown trucks – they’d like that.
You see, color really can play a roll in the way we feel. Just as colors can affect us, so can the music we listen to, the foods we choose to eat, and the clothes we wear.
I remember when a friend of mine explained to me the routine he followed before taking college exams. One of the last things he always did was to put on his favorite outfit, the one he felt the best in. It would always be something very nice, dressy, and something he felt comfortable wearing. He had read studies of how students tested better when wearing their best clothes.
In a similar way I found this to be true in my own life. When I come home from a long day’s work, I have two choices. I can either keep on the clothes I wore to work – usually they are the dry clean only type, or I can change into something more comfortable – usually sweat pants and a tee shirt. I have found that I accomplish much more and feel more energetic if I keep on my work clothes. Unfortunately though, this runs up the dry cleaning bill. If I change, and put on a worn-out, comfortable, pair of sweat pants and a ragged tee shirt – usually my outfit of choice, my energy level drops dramatically and consequently, I am much less productive.
Allow the Lord to prepare you ahead of time. Be open to His leading and guiding; allow Him to work in your life. I could share with you example after example of how the Lord prepared us as a family before my sister’s death. We didn’t see it then, but looking back we can clearly see His hand and it only confirms in our minds His sovereignty in every detail of our lives, even the small, seemingly, insignificant details. He is always working in our lives to prepare the way before us.
Just an example – When my parents first moved to Florida my sister was in her freshman year of high school. She made friends with a group of girls who she later found out were not headed in the same direction in life that she was. Their values were different, their morals were different, and the longer the friendships lasted, the more evident it became that Ginger need to break off her relationships with them and find a group of new friends. After about a year and a half, she did just that, but by doing so she made some real enemies out of what had once been friends. They could not understand why she could no longer go places and do things with them.
Ginger was a starter on the high school basketball team. During her senior year, she developed a severe case of asthma. After collapsing and nearly dying on the court, her coach, not wanting to take any more chances, left her sitting on the bench for the remainder of the season. Ginger graduated from high school with a real bitterness towards that coach because of her decision not to allow her to play.
A few weeks before her accident, Ginger called those girls with whom she had once been friends, and she called that coach for whom she had once played. She met with each of them, explaining her feelings and asking for forgiveness for any wrong she had done towards them.
Another example – Nine days before Ginger’s accident she bought a life Insurance policy. How many eighteen year olds do you know of that go out, on their own, and purchase life insurance? I don’t know of any except my sister. The policy my sister purchased was for fifty thousand dollars, double indemnity. She only made one fifty dollar payment on it.
Last example – On the night of Ginger’s accident my parents gave to her a Christmas present, thirteen days early. They had no reason to, they just did. That night my father, mother, and sister had a special family time together for my father’s birthday – yes, it was my father’s birthday.
I believe the Lord arranged these things and caused them to happen just the way they did, to prepare us for what He knew was to come. You may think that all of these things were merely coincidences, but I could go on and on with example after example. By the time I finished, you too would be convinced as I am that this was all much, much more than just a matter of coincidence. It was God’s providential hand in our insignificant lives. I know of other people, who have recorded similar works of the Lord in their lives as well.
Memorize scripture. Memorizing scripture has always been a difficult thing for me. You have probably heard the old adage that says, anything worth having is worth working for. Well, this is one thing that is, without a doubt, worth working for. When we are going through trials, tribulation, or emotional pain, what better thing to get us through it than memorized scripture?
I realized several years ago that when I really got serious and made myself memorize scripture, it snowballed. In a funny kind of way, I think it stretched my mind. It seams that the more I memorize, the easier it gets for me to memorize. My memory, I believe, has actually improved. And as I get older, this helps in other areas of my life as well!
I started with very simple passages like, “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. I wrote it on sticky notes and stuck it on the visor of my car, on my bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator – where I go way to often. You will be amazed at how easy it is to memorize a verse if you make yourself say it every time you open the refrigerator door. It is wonderful to be able to pull those memorized verses out of my head when I need them. Another memorization aid – put them to music – sing Psalms of praise!
Remember that God meant it for good. In Genesis 50:19 & 20, Joseph confronted his brothers years after they had sold him into slavery, and this is what he said, “…Fear not: for am I in the place of God?” He is saying to them, can I be the judge of this thing that you have done? Joseph realized that only God knows the big picture; only God knows what is really in our best interest. Can we be the judge of what God allows in our lives? Joseph goes on to say, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” His brothers meant evil towards Joseph when they carried out their evil plan to get rid of him, but God didn’t, God meant it for good. All the while when Joseph’s brothers were making their plans they didn’t know it, but God was planning to use their evil deeds for the good “…to save much people alive…” of many people. He did just that, he used the brother’s plans, and Joseph’s willing heart to save much people, even the brothers. We cannot be the judge, God meant it for good.
Sometimes we think we know exactly how things should work out best, how things should fit together in our lives, the circumstances, and the timing, it all seems to be so clear to us. I remember the story of a little boy who thought he was helping out by put all the keys on a computer keyboard in alphabetical order. Sometimes, we are like that little boy. We want to put all the keys in the order that makes the most sense to us, but that’s not always the order that is best for us.
Remember, Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto THINE own understanding.”
I’m reminded of a story of another little boy who is watching his mother create a beautiful tapestry. You’ve probably all read or heard this story before. The tapestry is stretched over a wood frame and the boy sits beneath it on the floor watching as his mother pushes and pulls the needle and threads back and forth through the fabric. From where the boy sits, he sees only the under side of the tapestry. It is matted with knots and pieces of different color threads and is not very pretty to look at. It is similar to the site of our own lives through our own eyes. But, the mother who sits above the tapestry, looking down at the right side of it, sees a different picture. The picture she sees is one of beauty, as the character of the tapestry is being formed one thread at a time. You see, the little boy and the mother are both looking at the same tapestry but seeing two totally different views because of their unique perspectives. It is just like you and God, both looking at your life. You are both looking at the same life, just from different perspectives. The side you see looks like a matted, knotted-up, mess, with different lengths and colors of threads hanging all about it. But, the side that God is looking at, looks like the character of a beautiful tapestry in the works.
Do you remember in the book of John, when Jesus was washing the feet of the disciples? When He came to Peter, Peter questioned Him, as he did so often. He said, “Lord, are you going to wash MY feet?”, and Jesus answered him and said in John 13:7, “…What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.” What He does in our lives, we know not, we cannot understand now, but we shalt know hereafter.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD.” Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect: the Word of the LORD is tried: He is a buckler (a shield of protection and strength) to all those that trust in Him.” We ALL need God’s protection and His strength. The strongest person on earth is infinitely weaker than God and certainly needs His unmatched help.
His thoughts are not my thoughts; His ways are not my ways. However, His way IS perfect. All I’ve got to do is to trust Him, to “Be still and know…” that He is God!
