Monday, August 01, 2005
Chapter 8
Our Response to Burdens
What should our response to burdens be, to our own burdens, and to the burdens of others? I once read this little saying that has stuck in my mind for a very long time and served as a constant reminder of how much my response matters to God and others and how very important a correct response to circumstances is.
It’s not situations that make us who we are
It’s our RESPONSE to situation that makes us who we are
We all respond to circumstances differently, because we are all made differently. Part of what “makes” us like we are is the situations that we have been through. Remember when we talked of bearing the burdens of others and we said that we must realize that we view the circumstances, trials, test, and tribulations of life through the lens of our own emotions? Well, that “lens” is developed in us as we ourselves go through the different circumstances, trials, tests, and tribulations of life. That is one reason that we all respond differently; because we are all looking through a different lens. My lens is going to be tinted just a little bit different than your lens; it may be a little weaker or it may be stronger.
I read an illustration of a tea bag and found the analogy quite interesting. Have you every thought of how a tea bag responds to the hot water it is steeped in? There is a lesson to be learned from the tea bag.
When we take a tea bag, place it in a teacup, and fill the cup with hot water, the water activates the tea in the bag unleashing its taste into the water around it. The hot water didn’t create the taste; it merely revealed or drew out what was already in the bag. This depicts what happens in the human heart. The pressures around us merely draw out of our heart what is already in it. We cannot blame the hot water for the taste in the cup. The contents of the tea bag determine the flavor of the tea. What flavor is your tea?
J. Allen Peterson. Your Reactions Are Showing. Lincoln, NB:
Back to the Bible; 1967. p. 14-15
You see, our response not only makes us who we are, but it also comes from who we are.
I remember very clearly, and vividly my thoughts after I learned of my sister’s death. I thought, “Lord, I had no idea that you only intended for Ginger to live eighteen years…” My response could have been anger, or bitterness, but instead, my response was my belief in the fact that God was in control and my knowledge of His plan was quite limited.
Now, I didn’t develop that response overnight. It was a response developed in me over a lifetime of small emotional pains, learning to lean on the Lord for every need, and realizing that He is always in total control of every situation. Nothing slips by God; nothing catches Him off guard or takes Him by surprise like it does us. He is always in control, always prepared, and always waiting and able to meet your particular need, whatever it may be. You see, God leads us all along the way of life only one step at a time. He never takes us up a step too big for us to climb, He never gives us more than we can handle. His grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9).
Sometimes, our response to burdens may just need to be contentment. Paul says in Philippians 4:11, “…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” How do you think Paul learned to be content? Notice that the verse doesn’t say he was content, it says that he learned to be content. We must assume then that at some point Paul was not content. He had to learn to be content. He certainly had plenty of opportunities in his life time not to be content and to learn contentment. Paul learned so well to be content that he and his friend Silas sang aloud while imprisoned. Acts 16:25 says, “And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.
If we read the complete passage here, we find that Paul and Silas had been followed for days by a young lady possessed with an evil spirit. The men that controlled her made money by using her and when Paul commanded that the evil spirit should come out of her, and it did, their money making opportunity ceased to be. The men caught Paul and Silas, and brought them into the marketplace and unto the magistrates, accused them of being Jews, causing trouble, and teach things that were not lawful. The Bible says that a multitude rose up together against them, their clothes were torn off of them, and they were beaten. Then they were cast into prison and not JUST the prison but into the inner prison, and their feet were put into stocks.
But there in the inner prison, with his feet in stocks, Paul was content. Just as Paul learned to be content, we too must sometimes learn just to be content. Contentment in this situation afforded Paul the opportunity to be a testimony of God’s goodness, and of his faith in the Lord to take care of him. Because of Paul’s contentment the jailor and his household were saved. Do you think your response matters? It does. Sometimes, God just wants to see if we can be content, and rest in Him “…in whatsoever state I am…” in, “…therewith to be content.”
Another reason we need to be sure that our response is right is found in John 9:2 & 3. In this passage we find Jesus passing by a blind man and the disciples asking Jesus “who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answers them and He says, “Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” Our response to trials, tribulations, to emotional pain, and burdens must be right so that the works of God can be made manifest or made evident in us and in our lives.
What happens if our response is not right and the works of God cannot be made manifest in us? What would have happened if Job had cursed God? What if Lot had looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah? What if Paul, the greatest missionary ever, had given up after his first imprisonment? What if Joseph had had his brothers thrown in jail for what they had done to him? In the position that Joseph was in, he probably could have had his brothers executed. All of these people had the right response and God was made manifest or evident in their lives. You certainly can imagine in each of these situations though how history could have been altered, lives changed. There is even the possibility that civilizations could have been changed forever, had these people not had the correct response to God’s working in their lives.
What about your response? What about my response? Have we allowed God to be made manifest in our lives through the presence of trials and tribulations? Is it evident that it is in Him that we trust?
What if we don’t know how to respond? Sometimes, when attempting to bear the burden of another, we simply don’t know how to respond. This is especially true if we haven’t been down that road before, if we haven’t experience that particular kind of burden. Remember what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3:7. He says that there is “A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;” Sometimes, we don’t need to speak; sometimes it is just “…a time to keep silence”. Sometimes the burdened friend needs us just to sit with them in silence. Sometimes that is the greatest comfort we can give and that is the response that is needed.
Other ways we can respond to a burdened one is to make contact with them often, invite them to share and participate in activities, sit with them in church, a touch or a hug can mean so much, identify with them as much as possible, pray for and pray with them.
Not only does our response to burdens make us who we are, but as mothers, how we respond to our burdens and to the burdens of others also makes our children who they are.
I heard a very wise man say one time that “Your children are a message sent to a place you’ll never go”, and you know, that is so true. Our children are like little messengers that we send out for a lifetime of places that we will never go and a lifetime of people that we will never know. There is no greater blessing, no greater joy as a parent, than to have raised an excellent messenger. III John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” What a wonderful thing it is to have your children be that message of truth to a lost and dying world.
I remember after my sister’s funeral, as we rode in the funeral procession with a police escort leading the procession. We were traveling in the car directly behind the escort. My father was driving, my mother was beside him in the car, and my husband and I were in the back seat. The procession left the church and headed north up Highway 19. If you are in any way familiar with Highway 19 in Florida you know it runs the length of the Gulf Coast; it is a long, straight, flat, four-lane, divided highway. On a clear day you can see for miles down that highway. After several minutes of driving my husband tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Turn around, look.” To my astonishment, when I turned and looked out the back window of the car, I could not believe what my eyes were seeing. As far as I could see there were following us a double line of cars with their lights on. My sister had been that message to a place my parents would never go; she had been that message to a people they would never know. I knew the church was packed at the funeral, but I had no idea until someone told me weeks later that it was standing room only, that the lobby was packed with people, and that people were even standing outside. My sister was a message. Our children are a message, and that is why it is so important that our response be the correct response.
Not only does our response matter when it comes to our children but as wives, our response to circumstances can certainly affect our husbands. As grandmothers, our response to situations can have a profound effect on our children and grandchildren. As single women or women in the church our response to burdens can make or break our testimony. This is especially true in a time of great crisis, and even more so if you are in any type of leadership position in your church. People want to see what you are really made of. They want to know if you practice what you preach – and they’ll find out too.
No matter your age, no matter how young or old you are, there is always someone watching you. This was made very apparent to my oldest daughter who in her senior year of high school worked as a teacher’s aid once a week in a kindergarten classroom. One Sunday afternoon after church our family went out for dinner. After we were seated, in came a family I did not recognize with a four year old little girl. Right away this little girl spotted my daughter across the crowded room and began to tug at her daddy’s coat and announce with her arm outstretched and finger pointed in my daughter’s direction, “Daddy, that’s Rachel, daddy, that’s Rachel…” Rachel realized that day how important her words, actions, and deeds were, because a little four year old girl was watching.
Our response really does make a difference. It matters for a lot of reasons and to a lot of people, but let’s keeping in mind, that MOST IMPORTANTLY, our response matters to God.
The Bible warns against it, and it is important for us to guard against it. “It” is a root of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 says, “Looking diligently lest any man fail (lest our testimony be a stumbling block to others) of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby MANY be defiled;” Bitterness in our lives will only accomplish three things. It will make us a stumbling block to others, it will trouble us, and it will make many to be defiled. None of us want to be a stumbling block, none of us want to be troubled, and I am sure that none of us want to be responsible for the defilement of MANY others.
To God, bitterness is a very serious offense. Look at the magnitude of the seriousness of this “root of bitterness”; look what it is listed with here in this passage. Verse sixteen goes on to say “Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.”
Bitterness will not only affect our testimony which in turn affects others, but it will also affect us. Verse fifteen says, “…lest any root of bitterness springing up TROUBLE you.” God does not want bitterness to trouble us. However, bitterness WILL trouble us if we allow it to. Job says that bitterness is worse than death. In Job 9:18 he says, “He will not suffer me to take my breath (my life), but filleth me with bitterness.” It would be better if I were dead, Job says, but instead, I am filled with bitterness. Bitterness will affect you physically. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
I could have easily become bitter after my sister’s death for many reasons other than just the fact that she was taken from us at such a young age. I could have been bitter because she was my only sibling and all of a sudden I was an only child. I could have been bitter because she was the one who had elected to care for my parents when they were old – she really got out of that one. I could have been bitter when we went to court against the man who killed her, in a county that was said to be the toughest in Florida for DUI cases. He got off with just probation. Evidentially, he had never killed anyone before that night. It certainly would have been easy for me to become bitter the day that decision was handed down. Instead however, I praised God. I praised God that day that my sister was the one that was killed, and not the one that killed. I would rather her be dead than to have to live the rest of her life facing the fact that she had killed someone.
Bitterness will trouble you my friend, it will eat you up inside if you allow it to. It will trouble your heart if you are not careful, and “…out of it (the heart) are (all) the issues of life.”
Do you remember in Ruth 1:19, when Naomi, who was filled with bitterness, returned to her home in Bethlehem with her daughter-in-law Ruth? It had only been ten years since Naomi left Bethlehem. During that time she had lost her husband and sons, and the bitterness that she was now filled with had so affected her countenance that the people of Bethlehem, her friends, did not even recognize her. They ask, “…Is THIS Naomi?” She was so filled with bitterness that she says in verse twenty, “…Call me not Naomi, call me Mara…” which means bitter.
Ephesians 4:31, warns us to “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” If we look back up to verse thirty in that same passage we see the “WHY” of this warning – because it grieves the Holy Spirit. Bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit.
In Job 1:13-19, we read how that in the span of one day’s time, Job, a man that the Bible says was “perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.”, a man who had “a very great household”, and “was the greatest of all the men of the east.”, lost almost everything he had. He lost on that one day all of his seven sons and all of his three daughters – ten children in all. If that alone were not enough, he also lost five hundred oxen, five hundred asses, seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, and an untold number of servants. What would you or I do under these extreme circumstances? Look what the Bible reports that Job, the greatest man in the east, did. Job 1:20-22 says, “Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Verse twenty-two should be an inspiration to us all, it says, “In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.”
How can we question God’s working in our lives, and how can allow a root of bitterness to spring up troubling us and thereby grieving the Holy Spirit? Our response must be a right response.
What should our response to burdens be, to our own burdens, and to the burdens of others? I once read this little saying that has stuck in my mind for a very long time and served as a constant reminder of how much my response matters to God and others and how very important a correct response to circumstances is.
It’s not situations that make us who we are
It’s our RESPONSE to situation that makes us who we are
We all respond to circumstances differently, because we are all made differently. Part of what “makes” us like we are is the situations that we have been through. Remember when we talked of bearing the burdens of others and we said that we must realize that we view the circumstances, trials, test, and tribulations of life through the lens of our own emotions? Well, that “lens” is developed in us as we ourselves go through the different circumstances, trials, tests, and tribulations of life. That is one reason that we all respond differently; because we are all looking through a different lens. My lens is going to be tinted just a little bit different than your lens; it may be a little weaker or it may be stronger.
I read an illustration of a tea bag and found the analogy quite interesting. Have you every thought of how a tea bag responds to the hot water it is steeped in? There is a lesson to be learned from the tea bag.
When we take a tea bag, place it in a teacup, and fill the cup with hot water, the water activates the tea in the bag unleashing its taste into the water around it. The hot water didn’t create the taste; it merely revealed or drew out what was already in the bag. This depicts what happens in the human heart. The pressures around us merely draw out of our heart what is already in it. We cannot blame the hot water for the taste in the cup. The contents of the tea bag determine the flavor of the tea. What flavor is your tea?
J. Allen Peterson. Your Reactions Are Showing. Lincoln, NB:
Back to the Bible; 1967. p. 14-15
You see, our response not only makes us who we are, but it also comes from who we are.
I remember very clearly, and vividly my thoughts after I learned of my sister’s death. I thought, “Lord, I had no idea that you only intended for Ginger to live eighteen years…” My response could have been anger, or bitterness, but instead, my response was my belief in the fact that God was in control and my knowledge of His plan was quite limited.
Now, I didn’t develop that response overnight. It was a response developed in me over a lifetime of small emotional pains, learning to lean on the Lord for every need, and realizing that He is always in total control of every situation. Nothing slips by God; nothing catches Him off guard or takes Him by surprise like it does us. He is always in control, always prepared, and always waiting and able to meet your particular need, whatever it may be. You see, God leads us all along the way of life only one step at a time. He never takes us up a step too big for us to climb, He never gives us more than we can handle. His grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9).
Sometimes, our response to burdens may just need to be contentment. Paul says in Philippians 4:11, “…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” How do you think Paul learned to be content? Notice that the verse doesn’t say he was content, it says that he learned to be content. We must assume then that at some point Paul was not content. He had to learn to be content. He certainly had plenty of opportunities in his life time not to be content and to learn contentment. Paul learned so well to be content that he and his friend Silas sang aloud while imprisoned. Acts 16:25 says, “And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.
If we read the complete passage here, we find that Paul and Silas had been followed for days by a young lady possessed with an evil spirit. The men that controlled her made money by using her and when Paul commanded that the evil spirit should come out of her, and it did, their money making opportunity ceased to be. The men caught Paul and Silas, and brought them into the marketplace and unto the magistrates, accused them of being Jews, causing trouble, and teach things that were not lawful. The Bible says that a multitude rose up together against them, their clothes were torn off of them, and they were beaten. Then they were cast into prison and not JUST the prison but into the inner prison, and their feet were put into stocks.
But there in the inner prison, with his feet in stocks, Paul was content. Just as Paul learned to be content, we too must sometimes learn just to be content. Contentment in this situation afforded Paul the opportunity to be a testimony of God’s goodness, and of his faith in the Lord to take care of him. Because of Paul’s contentment the jailor and his household were saved. Do you think your response matters? It does. Sometimes, God just wants to see if we can be content, and rest in Him “…in whatsoever state I am…” in, “…therewith to be content.”
Another reason we need to be sure that our response is right is found in John 9:2 & 3. In this passage we find Jesus passing by a blind man and the disciples asking Jesus “who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answers them and He says, “Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” Our response to trials, tribulations, to emotional pain, and burdens must be right so that the works of God can be made manifest or made evident in us and in our lives.
What happens if our response is not right and the works of God cannot be made manifest in us? What would have happened if Job had cursed God? What if Lot had looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah? What if Paul, the greatest missionary ever, had given up after his first imprisonment? What if Joseph had had his brothers thrown in jail for what they had done to him? In the position that Joseph was in, he probably could have had his brothers executed. All of these people had the right response and God was made manifest or evident in their lives. You certainly can imagine in each of these situations though how history could have been altered, lives changed. There is even the possibility that civilizations could have been changed forever, had these people not had the correct response to God’s working in their lives.
What about your response? What about my response? Have we allowed God to be made manifest in our lives through the presence of trials and tribulations? Is it evident that it is in Him that we trust?
What if we don’t know how to respond? Sometimes, when attempting to bear the burden of another, we simply don’t know how to respond. This is especially true if we haven’t been down that road before, if we haven’t experience that particular kind of burden. Remember what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3:7. He says that there is “A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;” Sometimes, we don’t need to speak; sometimes it is just “…a time to keep silence”. Sometimes the burdened friend needs us just to sit with them in silence. Sometimes that is the greatest comfort we can give and that is the response that is needed.
Other ways we can respond to a burdened one is to make contact with them often, invite them to share and participate in activities, sit with them in church, a touch or a hug can mean so much, identify with them as much as possible, pray for and pray with them.
Not only does our response to burdens make us who we are, but as mothers, how we respond to our burdens and to the burdens of others also makes our children who they are.
I heard a very wise man say one time that “Your children are a message sent to a place you’ll never go”, and you know, that is so true. Our children are like little messengers that we send out for a lifetime of places that we will never go and a lifetime of people that we will never know. There is no greater blessing, no greater joy as a parent, than to have raised an excellent messenger. III John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” What a wonderful thing it is to have your children be that message of truth to a lost and dying world.
I remember after my sister’s funeral, as we rode in the funeral procession with a police escort leading the procession. We were traveling in the car directly behind the escort. My father was driving, my mother was beside him in the car, and my husband and I were in the back seat. The procession left the church and headed north up Highway 19. If you are in any way familiar with Highway 19 in Florida you know it runs the length of the Gulf Coast; it is a long, straight, flat, four-lane, divided highway. On a clear day you can see for miles down that highway. After several minutes of driving my husband tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Turn around, look.” To my astonishment, when I turned and looked out the back window of the car, I could not believe what my eyes were seeing. As far as I could see there were following us a double line of cars with their lights on. My sister had been that message to a place my parents would never go; she had been that message to a people they would never know. I knew the church was packed at the funeral, but I had no idea until someone told me weeks later that it was standing room only, that the lobby was packed with people, and that people were even standing outside. My sister was a message. Our children are a message, and that is why it is so important that our response be the correct response.
Not only does our response matter when it comes to our children but as wives, our response to circumstances can certainly affect our husbands. As grandmothers, our response to situations can have a profound effect on our children and grandchildren. As single women or women in the church our response to burdens can make or break our testimony. This is especially true in a time of great crisis, and even more so if you are in any type of leadership position in your church. People want to see what you are really made of. They want to know if you practice what you preach – and they’ll find out too.
No matter your age, no matter how young or old you are, there is always someone watching you. This was made very apparent to my oldest daughter who in her senior year of high school worked as a teacher’s aid once a week in a kindergarten classroom. One Sunday afternoon after church our family went out for dinner. After we were seated, in came a family I did not recognize with a four year old little girl. Right away this little girl spotted my daughter across the crowded room and began to tug at her daddy’s coat and announce with her arm outstretched and finger pointed in my daughter’s direction, “Daddy, that’s Rachel, daddy, that’s Rachel…” Rachel realized that day how important her words, actions, and deeds were, because a little four year old girl was watching.
Our response really does make a difference. It matters for a lot of reasons and to a lot of people, but let’s keeping in mind, that MOST IMPORTANTLY, our response matters to God.
The Bible warns against it, and it is important for us to guard against it. “It” is a root of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 says, “Looking diligently lest any man fail (lest our testimony be a stumbling block to others) of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby MANY be defiled;” Bitterness in our lives will only accomplish three things. It will make us a stumbling block to others, it will trouble us, and it will make many to be defiled. None of us want to be a stumbling block, none of us want to be troubled, and I am sure that none of us want to be responsible for the defilement of MANY others.
To God, bitterness is a very serious offense. Look at the magnitude of the seriousness of this “root of bitterness”; look what it is listed with here in this passage. Verse sixteen goes on to say “Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.”
Bitterness will not only affect our testimony which in turn affects others, but it will also affect us. Verse fifteen says, “…lest any root of bitterness springing up TROUBLE you.” God does not want bitterness to trouble us. However, bitterness WILL trouble us if we allow it to. Job says that bitterness is worse than death. In Job 9:18 he says, “He will not suffer me to take my breath (my life), but filleth me with bitterness.” It would be better if I were dead, Job says, but instead, I am filled with bitterness. Bitterness will affect you physically. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
I could have easily become bitter after my sister’s death for many reasons other than just the fact that she was taken from us at such a young age. I could have been bitter because she was my only sibling and all of a sudden I was an only child. I could have been bitter because she was the one who had elected to care for my parents when they were old – she really got out of that one. I could have been bitter when we went to court against the man who killed her, in a county that was said to be the toughest in Florida for DUI cases. He got off with just probation. Evidentially, he had never killed anyone before that night. It certainly would have been easy for me to become bitter the day that decision was handed down. Instead however, I praised God. I praised God that day that my sister was the one that was killed, and not the one that killed. I would rather her be dead than to have to live the rest of her life facing the fact that she had killed someone.
Bitterness will trouble you my friend, it will eat you up inside if you allow it to. It will trouble your heart if you are not careful, and “…out of it (the heart) are (all) the issues of life.”
Do you remember in Ruth 1:19, when Naomi, who was filled with bitterness, returned to her home in Bethlehem with her daughter-in-law Ruth? It had only been ten years since Naomi left Bethlehem. During that time she had lost her husband and sons, and the bitterness that she was now filled with had so affected her countenance that the people of Bethlehem, her friends, did not even recognize her. They ask, “…Is THIS Naomi?” She was so filled with bitterness that she says in verse twenty, “…Call me not Naomi, call me Mara…” which means bitter.
Ephesians 4:31, warns us to “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” If we look back up to verse thirty in that same passage we see the “WHY” of this warning – because it grieves the Holy Spirit. Bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit.
In Job 1:13-19, we read how that in the span of one day’s time, Job, a man that the Bible says was “perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.”, a man who had “a very great household”, and “was the greatest of all the men of the east.”, lost almost everything he had. He lost on that one day all of his seven sons and all of his three daughters – ten children in all. If that alone were not enough, he also lost five hundred oxen, five hundred asses, seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, and an untold number of servants. What would you or I do under these extreme circumstances? Look what the Bible reports that Job, the greatest man in the east, did. Job 1:20-22 says, “Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Verse twenty-two should be an inspiration to us all, it says, “In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.”
How can we question God’s working in our lives, and how can allow a root of bitterness to spring up troubling us and thereby grieving the Holy Spirit? Our response must be a right response.
